A New Narrative

I started work at The Mustard Seed in January of 2012 and met with Jim the very first week. He sat across from me and told me that one year prior he had a full-time job, allowing him to move into his own apartment. With all his bills paid for that month, he was under no financial strain for the first time in a long time. Better yet, he was clean from alcohol after an almost lifelong battle with it. Sober, financially secure, and housed independently, Jim had achieved a level of stability. Jim sat back, looked around at his furnished apartment and then asked himself, “Now what? Is this all there is to life?” He proceeded to buy some alcohol, drink it, get drunk, and slide back into alcoholism and eventually homelessness.

Jim has been in and out of treatment for years, and since I first started working with him, he has gone from sober to being completely dependent on alcohol several times. I have met with him consistently over the past 9 months and have at times hit a wall in my ability to hope for him. Our goal was to find him permanent, sustainable employment, but we were always thwarted by his dependency on alcohol. I never stopped caring about Jim or wanting to see him succeed, but there were moments in which I wondered if he could succeed.

I have thought about and tried to understand Jim’s story often. What was lacking in this story? What might have kept him from throwing it all away? I do not know the answer to that question. The causes of addiction are complex, as are the impulses that sometimes cause us to choose that which hurts rather than helps us.

We seek to support our guests and to provide resources that will enable those guests to change for the better. However, that change does not always occur on a clear, linear trajectory that makes sense to us. One of the major challenges in doing the kind of work we do at The Mustard Seed is to keep a positive, hopeful outlook when faced with so many setbacks and daily obstacles. This challenge is faced by everyone doing this sort of work. 

The question for us as front line workers remains: how can we have hope for those who appear destined to fail?

In Matthew 11:28-30, we read, “Come to me, all you that are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”.

Jesus tells us to come to Him and let Him lighten our heavy load. Without shedding that load at His feet, our backs get so tired that we can barely walk, and so we can barely walk alongside those who need us to lend an arm and help them on their way. We have to hear a new narrative, a new story, in order to keep ourselves from losing hope.  We find that new narrative in the life, death and resurrection of Christ. He overcame the grave and put death under His feet, effectively making null and void death’s power. If that same power lives in us, what do we have to fear? We do not have to fear the worst outcome for our guests; we can rest assured that though we have trouble in this life, Christ has overcome the world.”

We do not always see physical evidence to demonstrate that the redeeming power of Christ is at work around us, but by faith we can rest in the Truth, which is that nothing can separate us from Him, “neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons…” We carry this hope and share it with everyone we meet, and though we cannot carry all the brokenness we see around us, Christ can.

--Laura U, Employment Coach, The Mustard Seed

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The Mustard Seed's Calgary Employment Centre is currently in need of work boots, especially men's sizes 10-12. If you would like to donate, items can be dropped off at:
  
102 11 Ave. SE

Hours: 7am-7pm

The Mustard Seed Shelter

7025 44 St. SE

Hours: 7am-9pm

The Mustard Seed Resource Sorting Centre

Bay 27, 4216, 54 Ave. SE

Hours: Monday-Friday 9am-5pm

The Mountain We Must Climb

I believe that there is something of a significant paradigm shift taking place in this country regarding homelessness, and, for the most part, that young people are pushing that agenda.

However, passions and desires to do the right thing are often overwhelmed by the reality of just how difficult a task we face. 

The “mountain” just seems un-climbable.

In 1849, surveyors made a great discovery of Chomolungma, also known as Mount Everest - the tallest mountain in the world, at 29,029 feet.

Everest was also considered un-climbable. Anything over 24,000 feet was referred to as the “Death Zone”. Sadly, hundreds have died in the attempt to reach the top of Everest.

The first man to officially make it to the top of Everest was Sir Edmund Hillary.

Turns out, the mountain was climbable after all… it just took 100 years to do it.

Caring for the homelessness, social justice, justice ministry… call it whatever you want, but we can climb this mountain if we work together.

Homelessness is not just a mountain that we can observe from a distance. It’s not just a mountain that we attempt to climb, make it halfway up, and then turn around and go home. It’s a mountain that we can and need to intentionally climb and refuse to allow ourselves to not make it to the top.

At The Mustard Seed, with the help of literally thousands of volunteers and supporters, we will keep on climbing until we make it to the top. 

- Bill Nixon,  Director of Public Education, The Mustard Seed

@billbytheminute

Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover This Halloween

We’ve all heard the saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”, and on a holiday like Halloween this adage seems to take on new meaning. Many Canadians will don a costume this Halloween to look funny, scary, or crazy. The guises we wear at Halloween remind me of the stereotypes that are often made about people experiencing homelessness because of the way they look. Visitors to The Mustard Seed often tell me that they are scared of the people on the streets because of the way they look. They take one look at someone and assume they know all about them: "They’re lazy”, “They’re an addict”, “They’re homeless”, “They’d hurt me if I stopped to talk to them”, and “They’re scary”.

Brené Brown, a social worker from the United States says, “In [our] culture of shame, we are constantly overwhelmed with feelings of fear, blame, and disconnection. This creates an ‘us and them’ world. There are people like us, and then there are ‘those other people’. And we normally work very hard to insulate ourselves from ‘those people’. As children, there were the people that we were allowed to hang out with and then there were the other kids…As adults, we live in the neighborhood where our kind live – the other neighborhoods are for the other folks. We emotionally and physically insulate ourselves from ‘the other’… We’ve developed language to describe others – sometimes we refer to them as ‘those people’, or the even more mysterious ‘people like that’… Sharing our shame with someone is painful… the natural tendency to avoid or reduce this pain is often why we start to judge and insulate ourselves using otherness. We basically blame them for their experience. We unconsciously divide people into two camps: worthy of our support and unworthy.”  I Thought it Was Just Me (But it Isn't) - Brené Brown

Homelessness is scary, and it’s painful, especially when we get to know someone who is experiencing homelessness and they share their story with us. When we hear someone’s story, we start to care about them and it hurts to see people we care about in bad situations. So instead of getting to know people, we give them a stereotype or a label that sums them up in one word so we don’t have to feel the pain of hearing their actual story.  

Last week a group of elementary students from a local school came to visit the Mustard Seed and they made sandwiches for our community. They bravely opened their minds and hearts to hear about “the other”. We gave them a tour and shared with them the stories of some of the folks we know that have been affected by poverty and homelessness. Sometimes I get discouraged and I wonder if these tours even do anything to help, but I was given some hope when I received a letter from the teacher of one student, who went back to his school and wrote about his experience in his journal. The student wrote:

“Today we went to The Mustard Seed... I learned that homeless people are not crazy drug addicts or bums, but people that have worth. I think that it is fitting that The Mustard Seed ended up in a church. The Mustard Seed is one of the best places I have seen in my life, and I am happy that we were able to go and make a difference in someone’s life, or at least a sandwich. I cannot believe that I used to think that these people were useless. I will try to donate to non-profit organizations, and make sure my donations are in good shape and can give hope to the people who receive them.” – Grade 6 Student

This Halloween, may we remember that beneath the clothes we wear, the ‘costumes’ we put on each day in our schools, our work places, and our cities, that each of us has a story, and that our stories matter, because we matter.

Let us remember that each of us has a name and we are so much more than stereotypes and labels from the way we look.

And may we have the courage to share our story with our whole heart and to hear the story of “the others” in our own communities.

Say "Hello" and Follow me on twitter @paulacornell5 or @mustardseedyeg

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The True Value of What You Give

As Christians and followers of Jesus, it is unquestionable that God has commanded us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves and to give selflessly of ourselves to those who are in need.

This is requested of us various times throughout the Bible and is an almost universally-accepted characteristic of today’s Christian. We know that when we view and treat others (especially those who make up the most vulnerable populations) with kindness and respect, we are honoring and glorifying God.

However, many of us are plagued with a feeling of inadequacy – a feeling that the hours we volunteer, the money and items we donate, and the kind deeds we do for others aren’t enough.

Though we can’t measure quantitatively what “enough” really is, we can indicate that we feel that these things aren’t truly substantial in a way that will make a "real difference" in the world – that we (and our actions) are too tiny and insignificant to really make a positive impact among all of the inequalities of this world.

When I feel this way personally, there is a verse in 2 Corinthians that I often refer back to, to shed some perspective on what it is that God truly expects of us.

2 Corinthians 8:12 tells us “Whatever you give is acceptable if you give it eagerly. And give according to what you have, not what you don't have.” (NLT, 2007)

God does not expect us to save the world on our own. He does not expect us to donate millions and trillions of dollars, when we can only really spare a few. God asks us to give according to what we do have to give. He does not measure the dollar value of the gift; rather, he measures the amount of love within the giver and behind the deeds. When you give of yourself selflessly, free of expectations for rewards or praise, you are loving and serving others in the manner pleasing to God.

Organizations such as The Mustard Seed can only exist and continue to help those in need when it is assisted by the accumulation of support from each and every one of our very generous and selfless donors, volunteers and supporters. We truly appreciate all that we receive, regardless of the dollar amount given or the amount of time spent helping out.

If at any time you feel that your contributions are too small or insignificant, I urge you to remember the words of 2 Corinthians 8:12.

- Jennifer Fast, New Media Specialist, The Mustard Seed
@loveismotion222

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Your Own Sunshine

Well, the snow and the chilly temperatures in Calgary have promptly arrived!  In usual Calgary fashion, the weather this morning was an abrupt contrast from the sunny +19 temperature of this past Thanksgiving weekend.

If you’re like me, or the other 1,000,000+ people who call this city home, you probably scoffed at the scattering of white flurries and ice that lined the lawns and roads this morning as you looked out your window and reluctantly dug out your cold-weather boots and car scraper. Some of you may have left the house early on your morning commute, only to find that the rest of the entire city had precisely the same idea. You might also have commented on the bad winter drivers - the drivers who either don’t change their driving habits to accommodate the slippery weather conditions, or those who drive as if it’s the very first time they’ve ever seen snow.

However, regardless of the not-so-ideal weather conditions happening outside of our windows, there is a perspective we can choose to adopt in our lives – a different way of “seeing” things - that will help to stop our attitudes from following suit and also freezing over. It may entail thinking out-of-the-box (along with a dash of creativity), but there is a meaningful silver lining to the situations life finds us in that are generally labelled as “negative” or “unfortunate”. We can choose to concentrate on these silver linings to help make our lives a little bit sunnier.

You can choose to be thankful for the heating bill in your mailbox, for it means that you have been warm.  You can choose to appreciate the carpet you have to vacuum and the counters you have to scrub, for it means you have a house to live in. You can choose to be grateful for the load of homework you need to tackle, for it means you have access to education. You can choose to be thankful for the parking spot you finally locate at the far end of the parking lot, for it means you have been blessed with transportation and also with legs that can walk the distance. You can be grateful for the dinner you still have to cook even though you’re exhausted from work, because it means you have food to nourish your body.  You can be grateful for the taxes you pay, for it means you are employed. You can appreciate your alarm clock that wakes you in the early morning, for it means you have the health and strength to rise to meet the day. You can choose to be thankful for struggles and challenges in your life, for once you overcome them you learn something new and grow as a person, as well as re-discover your own strength.

Similarly, we can even find reasons to be thankful for the snow and the cold. The cold intensifies the pleasure of life’s little “warm luxuries”, such as hot chocolate, soft fuzzy socks and cuddling by the fireplace. The coming of winter means that the lively Christmas season is near. Feeling the cold now makes us appreciate Calgary’s sunny and warm summer days that much more when they are upon us. And everything looks that much more magical blanketed in a layer of glittering snow and frost.

As we approach these delicate last few weeks between Thanksgiving and the approaching Christmas season, let’s work to keep in the forefront of our minds the many small ways we are blessed that often go unrecognized… even when we are on our way outside to shovel the snowed-over driveway.


- Jennifer Fast, New Media Specialist, The Mustard Seed
@loveismotion222

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Ego, Empathy & Ending Poverty

Have you ever seen a little kid running and suddenly do a face plant into the ground? Or watched a clip from America’s Funniest Home Videos where a backyard stunt goes horribly wrong?  What happens when you see this?  If you’re like me, you immediately cringe and partly shut your eyes, your legs might go numb, or you grab the body part that the victim just potentially injured.

In a strange way you feel their pain…it’s like for a moment you’re in their shoes.

Why is that?

Scientists attribute it to “mirror neurons” in the frontal region of the brain; they seem to mediate empathy and allow us to sense the pain of others as if it were our own – just by seeing it.  I guess this helps explain why I cry every time I watch “The Notebook.”  Although it seems we are soft-wired for empathy, it does not automatically mean we are compassionate to others.  This altruistic tendency must be cultivated in order to reach its full potential.

“Do to others what you would have them do to you…”

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Jesus seemed to see the direct connection between experiencing the love of God, self-love, and loving others; he experienced the connectedness between all of us and everything around us.  He also noticed how our ego, what Paul calls our “old self”, tends towards violence and apathy.  Judgement, greed, intolerance, prejudice and hatred all flow out of a me-first mentality.  So does apathy, which in most cases is more violent than hatred.  Jesus sought to cultivate the heart to allow the empathic nature to grow and strengthen…preparing the soil to allow the seeds of compassion to sprout and take root.

It’s funny, children are so good at this.  As soon as one baby cries the other will start crying, as if they can feel each other’s hunger.  A kid on the playground willingly shares her goodies with her friends; in a pure and simple way she understands that her friend’s happiness affects her own. Like Jesus said, we need to be like little children, having open minds and hearts to our shared humanity.

What is my point exactly?  We have come to a place in our history when it is no longer advantageous to see the destruction of our “enemy” or stockpile our wealth and ignore the needs of our neighbor.  We are now so interdependent on the well-being of the “other” that war, discrimination and apathy are out-dated.  Like the Dali Lama said, “We must strive for reconciliation and always remember the interests of others.  We cannot destroy our neighbors or ignore their interests!  This would ultimately lead to our own suffering.”

Homelessness and poverty in general affects all of us; the systemic, economic, social service, government, and societal costs negatively impact everyone.  The question becomes to what point are we awakened to this fact and how do we respond?  The evidence is there…we are all connected and the well-being of your neighbor directly impacts your own.  Our fences, gates and closed doors cannot keep it’s effect out, but only perpetuates the problem.

Do you allow yourself to feel the pain of others?  How you respond to the needs of your neighbor and the community you live in?

How are you cultivating a compassionate heart and love for others?  Do you see the hurting person as your own brother or sister; a part of the whole human family?  Do you see how much your neighbor needs you and you need them?

The Mustard Seed cannot end homeless alone; the roots of poverty spread deeper and wider than its reach.  You have eyes, ears, hands, feet and a heart, so look around you; listen to the cries for compassion and belonging; reach out and embrace; walk a mile in their shoes; feel the heartbeat of a humanity that you are an integral part of.

- Josh

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The Chronicles of Westwood Manor: From the Tenants Interview 1

Whether you call it HousingFirst or HousingPlus or Housing-whatever, it can be said that the “Housing" program is a new and mysterious enigma here at The Mustard Seed Edmonton. The rumours about this fancy program must be spreading like gangrene: "Did you hear? They installed a pool with a diving board - on the roof no less!" and "Have you heard? They just bought an exact replica of the Taj Mahal made out of spaghetti!"

Well friends, let me assure you with comforting words: rainbow, cherry cake, unicorn, puppies. To dispel the myths even further, I have with me our very own expert, whom we will refer to as Mark, a tenant and handyman here at the house.


Jeremiah: So, Mark, what happens on a regular day at the apartment?
Mark: Sometimes I go to work, sometimes I go out and get groceries ...uh I mean, do cleaning and maintenance, talk in [the] Common Room, meet up with people at The Mustard Seed. We sit around, talk, and enjoy.
[To himself]:Can’t believe I said grocery shopping! *laughs*

J: Has this house had a positive influence on you?
M: Yeah it has! The programs here at The Mustard Seed have really improved my Christianity and has really helped to increase my sense of unity with the community I am a part of.

J: What is your favourite part of the Housing program?
M: My favourite part is the suite that they gave me: brand new cupboards and floor, exceptional acoustics for a stereo and [affords me] the ability to cook my own meals.

J: Where would you be if you had no house to live in?
M: YMCA, but I like this place 1000 times better. I’ve rented really expensive apartments before with problems. You look out the window and see greasy people and wonder if a shower curtain salesman lives across from you.*chuckles*. But it is a really safe place here.

J: If there was one thing you would like the rest of the Mustard Seed to know about its Housing program, what would it be?
M: Tough luck. *laughs*. Just kidding! The Mustard Seed is getting more places and is providing top-notch support. You can’t get it better than this. The Mustard Seed has exceeded the limit and has gone way out of their way to do better. Just when you think The Mustard Seed has done everything, they do more.

Well there you have it folks, wisdom from the expert. I pray this has given you a little taste of The Mustard Seed Housing Program at Westwood Manor.


Love Lots,
Jeremiah


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“I AM a POSITIVE Person, Jerkface!”

I look at him. He looks at me. He is definitely drunk, but I easily see past that; not a good skill to have, really. I work the door at The Mustard Seed in Edmonton during meals and do my best to prevent all drug and alcoholic users from entering our zero-tolerance force field. He starts swearing - not in a mean or threatening way, but with very honest indignation. Standing straight, his left knee is pulled unnaturally out to the side as if a muscle-head wrestler bent it the wrong way and forgot to put it back. He manages to hold this position as the rest of his body sways back and forth in his alcohol-induced state. He has waited a few years for knee surgery and, out of his hatred of prescription painkillers, he uses alcohol to survive the day and sleep at night. Good news: he just got an appointment with a clinic so that he can soon get the surgery. I try to be positive. “Be happy, friend! You will be getting the surgery soon”. Bad move Jeremiah. He swears again. This time directed at me with both honest frustration and sheer meanness. He is obviously not in a very positive mood.

People have said I'm a positive person. I have noticed, however, that it is very difficult to be positive to those who have witnessed, and been victim to, atrocious things. They see the world through the tainted lens of these traumatic experiences and comprehend my positive remarks as mere fiction and fantasy outside their own perspective. My positivity is not a valid part of their “real world”. It has been a goal of mine to ground my optimism in reality and in a way that they can understand. This has been difficult, although, I have made some progress.

One community member, who is a regular here at The Mustard Seed, was having some trouble with employment and getting his identification. I wanted to encourage him so I took something from his “world” – his regular attendance at The Mustard Seed – and relayed it back to him in a positive way. I simply said that he was a positive influence in the community of The Mustard Seed. This was also grounded in the real, in his world, because I had noticed his generosity to other community members. And I think he got the message.

Leave me a comment and let me know what the real world is through your lens.

Love Lots,

Jeremiah

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The Gift of Change

The other day I was observing a poverty-related discussion that was happening within a group of my friends. I do this frequently in the hopes that they forget I work where I do, have an honest conversation, and then I can give them my two-cents at the end of the discussion. This particular chat was about panhandling, and how they respond to being asked for money on the street. One friend said that she’s always a ‘sucker’ when she’s asked for change, and will give it to the asker. Another said she will never give to the asker because she’s sure it wouldn’t go towards food or bus fare, and that it would go towards drugs and/or alcohol. I believe this to be the most common view on panhandling. A third friend stepped in with something I hadn’t heard before: “If you give them money and it goes to drugs or alcohol, you’re helping them reach rock bottom and, therefore, recovery, sooner.” I’m sure she was quoting something she’d heard elsewhere, but I'd literally never heard that before and was surprised by it.

Anyway, one question I’m often asked is

 “What do you do (personally) when someone asks you for money on the street?”

Now, I can’t tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, but I’ll tell you my own, personal thoughts on the issue.

Generally, I just say sorry and don't usually give out any change. Why? Probably partly because I’m aware of the services available in our city, all within 2km of where I’m often asked, and partly because I don’t know where the money will go - and sometimes I’m not okay with that. I’m not saying that folks who ask for it are lying to you, but there’s a chance of that. Some might just see it as survival.

Sometimes, I am okay with that. And that’s the key. Each individual needs to decide for themselves if they are or are not okay with what happens to their money after it passes from their possession. If you aren’t, you should stick to donating to an agency you trust. If you are okay with not knowing, then give away! On occasion, if my hand is in my pocket, jingling some change around, I’ll pull it out and hand it to someone. I don’t think about where my money could go, or what rock bottom could or could not be reached because of my paltry contribution. Once that money passes out of your hands, you have to truly let it go. You need to make the decision when you give them the money that you’re truly giving them the money. A gift – and, like any true gift, they receive it and are grateful, and don’t owe you anything.

And maybe, just maybe, by giving them the gift of change, you’ll be giving them … the gift of change.

How do you decide whether to give to a panhandler or not?

- Sarah
Follow Sarah on Twitter @ispeakcanadian

Under the Glass Ceiling

One of the community members said something, which really shook me recently:

“How can you live with a disability? It’s like you're living in a room with a glass ceiling. You can see all that you want to achieve, but you know you can never get there. How can you live with a disability? ” 

The same can be also said for many trauma victims; for those who continually dress their wounds in addictive remedies; for those who, from birth, had no one to admire and nurture their potential.

The worst part is perhaps that the glass of the ceiling is transparent. They can see who they could have been. They see their dreams clearly, yet increasingly distant; fleeting wisps of memories never theirs. Cursing their present state, they dive deeper into the walls that confine them and drown in their own shadows.

Housing First has been the model chosen to undo these types of situations. The housing program of the Mustard Seed in Edmonton has recently been approved by Homeward Trust, the first apartment building has been filling rapidly, and other apartments are possibly in the works! I, Jeremiah, a mere summer student intern, have been graciously cannon-balled into the middle of this extravaganza. And I love it! And I despair in it!

I love the stories and laughter we share when we sit together with a meal. I love it when I spill hamburger all over myself when the sarcastic excitement of 50% off all clothes in Value Village hits the room. I admire the generosity present between the tenants. Even the precious cigarette is given away freely to a friend. On the flip side, I despair at the sight of deep scars through skin which give credence to the stories that tumble out at unexpected moments. I despair when their pain squeezes them so tightly that they, with subtle and unintentional words and actions, sometimes hurt each other.

So what of the glass ceiling? Well, they move out - out of those four walls - and enter a new community where the sky is the limit. Through the housing program they come to a home. One of the tenants told me yesterday,

“It’s hard to find a home, but this place really feels like a home. It takes a heart to make a home and this place has a lot of heart!”  

A home is a place of belonging where it does not matter what you have done or how short you have fallen from who you could have been. All that matters is right now, and who you are making yourself to be with the support of all those around you. Here the sky does not become the eternal reminder that your hopes have failed, but rather the place where your imagination can find hope again. I am very thankful to be a part of this extravaganza.

Love Lots,

Jeremiah

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We all dare to dream...

As children we are taught to dream. We are taught to aim high, that the sky is the limit, that we can be and do anything we set our minds to. Some of the things that were dreams of mine over the last 24 years are as follows...

gain a career as a fire fighter

become an international rockstar

take ballet classes

have a father figure

see my parents reconciled

make good friends

travel the world

escape those who brought abuse into my life as a child

teach chemistry as a lab technician

graduate high school

lead a missions team

drop out of college

finish college

obtain a 3.5 GPA

get married

change the world

I have seen some of these dreams realized, but obviously, some of these things were and continue to be completely out of my control. For example, there is nothing that I could have done to see my parents relationship healed, nor could I have chosen a father figure to replace the void in my life due to the end of my parents' marriage. No amount of decision or choice or maturity or goal setting could allow me to see these things become reality. These aren't dreams that I could attain by my own volition and will. 

Similarly, homelessness and poverty are not the result of choices made. There are circumstances to which some are born into that cannot be escaped as easily as it may seem. We do not scorn those born into majority world (or third world) countries for not having been born into more affluent families. We do not judge children who have been abandoned by careless parents for not having been more responsible. We do not assume that those whose lives have been paralyzed by disease have asked for the hand that was dealt to them. Yet we marginalize others for their homelessness that we, as a society, have chosen on their behalf in so many ways.

You'll notice that mental health issues, sexual exploitation, addictions, and poor food security never made my list of goals throughout my life. As a child I never dreamt of becoming homeless. This may come as a surprise but the same is true of my friends within The Mustard Seed community.

Nobody chooses homelessness or poverty. Nobody dreams of these things.

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Follow me on Twitter @katcardinal

The Size of a Mustard Seed

I recently had the opportunity to write about The Mustard Seed for a national faith-based magazine. I thought you might be interested in a few of my thoughts on life in the inner city. Enjoy!

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The inner city. There are probably words, ideas, and stories that come to mind when you think of the inner city community that exists in your city. Words like “addiction,” “poverty,” and “homelessness” may have surrounded or influenced the images of the inner city that, for whatever reason, have planted themselves in your mind and understanding. However, these characteristics are not the whole truth, nor are they the definers, of inner city communities. This was a lesson I learned firsthand only through experience, only as I made the inner city my community, only as I built real relationships in this community. The catalyst that started my journey into the inner city is a place I now look at with deep love and respect, a place known across the city of Edmonton as The Mustard Seed.

The Mustard Seed is a Christian not-for-profit organization that delivers basic services, housing and employment to those in need, and partners with the community to address poverty. As an organization, we affect change in the lives of people living in poverty through building community and building mutually respecting and mutually edifying relationships within the community. We are inspired by our faith to help those in need – physically, emotionally and spiritually – and we support people of faith from all denominations as part of our commitment to follow the example of Christ in bringing dignity to the marginalized. Our work is about meeting the basic needs and developing the gifts and talents of our community. The venue through which much of this is practically communicated is through our meal program and drop-in activities.

Foundational to The Mustard Seed’s drop-in recreational programming is the idea that broken relationships are central to the issue of poverty. It seems that perhaps what first needs to be addressed in the lives of those living in poverty is the need for healthy relationships. The staff, volunteers, and community members that compose The Mustard Seed community fully understand this reality. For us, tangibly embodying this means opening our space for drop-in activities like karaoke on Tuesdays, art night on Thursdays, and Hockey Night in Canada on Saturdays. In addition to these evening programs we also have a volunteer-run sewing program, we serve as a food depot that operates out of the Edmonton Food Bank, we regularly give free haircuts, and we redistribute gently used clothing and household items through our Personal Assistance Centre.

While these programs comprise only a portion of our Basic Services programs, these are the programs that create opportunity for authentic relationship, which can then serve as an entryway to next-level programs and services like advocacy, housing, and employment. Without first laying the foundation of relationship – that is, without knowing the stories of the people we serve – it is near impossible to make further connections to other services that are available through The Mustard Seed and other surrounding social agencies. If authentic relationship – that is to say, relationship without particular agenda – is not given primary focus in our outflow of services, we’ve not accomplished our goal.

It is because of genuine relationships within this community that I feel a belonging and connectedness to the inner city. The inner city neighbourhood that I have chosen to adopt as my own community tends to be associated with need, crime, and other characteristics that often incite fear and negative attitudes and opinions, perhaps similar to the images that came to your mind when first reading the words inner city. I’ll admit, prior to my experience in this community I had fallen victim to similar ideas.

The truth about the inner city – about any neighbourhood – is that relationships are what define a community, a truth that resounds within me because of my personal experiences within the inner city. It has been nearly two years since I started my employment at The Mustard Seed and I consider my time here to be an honour and a privilege. Without acceptance into this community I never would have met Thomas*, a man in his mid-40s diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD). Thomas has been separated from his family for the majority of his life, leading to his on-again-off-again homelessness, and he is unable to retain a full time job due to numerous health issues, all of which has led to occasional intravenous drug use. My friendship with Thomas has had its ups and downs, but every time I see him he is nearly in tears expressing his gratitude to be a part of a community that cares about the details of his everyday experiences, a community where people actually know his name. Thomas’ reality is that The Mustard Seed community is often the only place he feels like he is accepted, a place where he belongs.

As my relationships with people like Thomas deepen, my commitment to this community only solidifies further. Thomas’ smile and words of appreciation may appear small, but it is through Thomas that I am reminded that it is in the little things that life, love, hope and joy are found. These little things might often be as small as a mustard seed.

Clothed In Confidence

Hi, I'm Laura U. I'm an employment coach at The Mustard Seed in Calgary and this is my first time on the blog. I was assigned as Sandra’s Employment Coach a few weeks ago and met with her for the first time soon after. She sat with me in the intake room, and I asked to hear her story.

“Oh, my story is sad, sad,” she whispered. ”In my country there is too much war”.

I left it at that, sensing she would rather not go further. However, I did learn that Sandra is from Uganda and came to Calgary to find work.

“I need to find confidence to interact with people in a job”, she told me. “Can you help me find confidence?”

I told her I would try.

One of our first steps toward confidence is being taken today. We are going to Making Changes, a not-for-profit agency that outfits women with professional clothing for the workplace.

We arrive in the afternoon and Sandra’s eyes widen as she takes in the place, which is set up like a clothing boutique. Racks of clothing fill the room, one corner is stacked high with shoes, and a standing coat hanger dangles with purses. Another shelf is covered with brand-new cosmetics.

We are paired with a volunteer stylist who leaps to action, handing Sandra dress pants in eggplant and khaki. Then shirts in bright colors and soft fabrics are brought out. Sandra receives each item with stunned graciousness, her eyes full of light. She says little, but she is beaming.

Sandra steps into the dressing room, and our stylist looks at me and says, “She is wonderful.” She is awed, as I am, by Sandra. She shines.

In a world torn by war, oppression, and violence, Uganda is no exception. It would seem that the brutal reality of war would harden one’s heart. Often, however, as I and others in the Employment Centre have seen, it has the opposite effect. In some individuals, the need for God grows stronger. Sandra had told me in the car on the way to Making Changes that she prays a lot. She has to pray a lot, she says. It is a means of survival. Sandra has kept the hope planted by Christ, and it shows.

We prepare to leave Making Changes. Sandra fills out a survey, and when asked if she is now ready to enter the workplace with confidence, she checks “strongly agree”.

In the car on the way home she tells me that she has read in Scripture that God has good plans for His children. A few more times she whispers it: “Good plans”. Her confidence in God’s goodness has renewed my own. And with that, we ride back toward downtown Calgary - clothed in the confidence that comes from trusting Him.

Hacky Sack

As a relief support worker at The Mustard Seed Calgary, I work in several different departments (my job never gets boring!). One of my primary tasks involves helping facilitate our DemoCrew and CollegeCrew programs -- experiences where high school or college/university students spend multiple days and nights with us at The Mustard Seed volunteering and learning about homelessness. Our goal with these programs is to demolish the darkness and demonstrate the love of Jesus.

I was wrapping up orientation during one such CollegeCrew and asked the group to share whether they had any fears or apprehensions for the weekend ahead. One young man, whom I'll call David (not his real name), spoke up.

"I've never been good with words. What am I supposed to tell somebody whose life seems to be one bad run of events after another? I don't know how someone like me can say the right thing to help."

I told him that often, it's not the words we speak, but the most seemingly insignificant actions, that make the difference. He nodded, unconvinced, and I took the group for their first mealtime with our guests.

After supper I went to round up the students. As many wrapped up conversations with their tablemates, I looked around for David and found him leaning against the wall, intently focused on a game of hacky sack that had been started in the corner by five or six guests who I knew quite well. I approached David and stood with him.

"Do you think...do you think that maybe I could go play for a bit?" he asked me nervously.

"I think that's a great idea," I replied with a smile. "Go for it! They'd love to have you."

Cautiously, David approached the circle, where the guests enthusiastically invited him to join in. The following day, one of the guests approached me with more joy in his face than I had seen in months, asking if I could "please, please" excuse David from a group activity for a bit so they could play one more game of hacky sack together.

At the end of the weekend, David revealed that he had struggled with depression for many years, and had felt unqualified to help make anybody else's life better.

"But now," he said, "I know that it's not always about saying the right words. Maybe, sometimes, it's enough to kick a sack around with a bunch of people who I would normally have passed by on the street."

Sometimes, "helping" just might look like a game of hacky sack.

An Invitation

Whenever I'm spending time with our community in the drop-in I often wonder how newcomers to the neighbourhood, as well as the greater community of Edmonton, perceive our community with an "outsider" perspective. I mean, there are some reactions that I could predict: fear of the unknown, the perpetuation of stereotypes of the urban poor and the homeless, a desire to remain separated from those who are different... But maybe the people who regularly hang out in our drop-in facility and other agencies like it are not as different from us as we might think.

Our community is often said to be an unhealthy one, and for some that is most definitely true. For the recovering addict, the inner city could be just one big trigger. For the ex-gang member the inner city might represent flooding memories of intense violence. But not everyone from this neighbourhood is in recovery. There are some for whom this community is filled with deep and meaningful relationships, friends who have become more like family, people who give one another worth, and value, and meaning. In the midst of this dichotomous world of health and instability, The Mustard Seed stands as a refuge for people regardless of what side of the fence they may be on this day.

Isn't it safe to say that all of us are constantly in need of some kind of healing or recovery? Aren't we all guilty of misguided decisions? I've travelled around the world and lived in several marginalized communities and I've learned the same lesson in each location: people are people are people no matter where you go. We have all done wrong and had wrong done to us. We are all just as broken as our brothers and sisters, and we are all looking to experience recovery.

The difference between us can be recognized in the support systems some have or don't have. Some of us have well-intentioned parents and families, some of us have churches and faith developing communities, some of us have hands constantly being reached out to us. Yet there are many who fall and are left to their own vices and devices, which for our community are usually limited.

But there is hope. There is hope that the ones who have received a hand up will outstretch their own hands to the next, to the other, and offer themselves to those who have been forgotten. Together we can build healthier communities, mentor relationships, and more diverse and unified neighbourhoods.

Think of this as an invitation. What will you do with it?

Terry

Photo by Susan Brandt

You know Terry. I know you do. But you don't yet know that you do. Terry was, as a friend states, "as much of the Calgary landscape as the tower itself."

How do I know you know Terry? Well, if you work, live or have ever been downtown, I bet you've seen him. Wait, you probably don't know Terry. But you should have.

Terry was the man who you might have seen on 1st SE or on 1St SW in his wheelchair. You might recognize him as the man who has the prosthetic legs with the Calgary Flames' logo at the top. He doesn't look like the type of person that people ever want to get to know. Ever. And the majority of people make zero effort. At first Terry would always remember me, and then he began to forget me a bit and eventually just asked me for change - but if I said "Hi Terry" in the morning as I walked past, the response was almost radiant.

A couple of years ago, I fell into stride, as you might say, beside Terry as he wheeled to his usual place and I walked to my bus stop after work. I chatted with him for a few moments before, daft as I am, realizing that he was struggling. "Can you help me out?" he asked, and I agreed and moved in behind his wheelchair to give him a push. And boy, it wasn't easy. I'm glad he asked because I am apparently so ridiculously clueless that I wouldn't have realized he had needed help with it. But pushing that chair in my dress coat and cowboy boots opened my eyes. Most people think Terry ended up the way he did because he was weak. It was clear that he was struggling, and was probably the type of "homeless" person that parents warn their children about. But Terry was anything but weak, and he was anything but scary. He was, hands down, one of the strongest men I've ever met. To push his chair for 3 minutes left me breathless. I can't imagine the persistent breathless feeling that his tumultuous life left him with. Terry was a strong man with a life full of struggles. I mean FULL of struggles. And as I struggled up that gentle incline, pushing his wheelchair and hoping I didn't lose my footing, I couldn't help but wonder how many times Terry had perhaps lost his footing, maybe even daily - and how important it is to have people to pick you up when you fall.

Last week I learned of Terry's passing through a colleague on Facebook. I watched the comment thread as many Mustard Seed staff and volunteers left their verbal respects for Terry. If you know him or saw him every day, this is your forum to perhaps leave him a few kind words. And remember Terry when you see someone alone and struggling. Don't be afraid to ask if they need help up the hill.

- Sarah

On Helping

I was walking home from work last Saturday evening when I heard a woman’s voice calling out down the sidewalk. With tears streaming down her face, she was standing by the road waving her arms and yelling at passing cars, “Help! Help! Why won’t anyone help me?!” It was getting dark and snowing heavily- no one was stopping.

I walked towards her, admittedly a little nervous. When I reached her, she collapsed into sobs in my arms, continuing to cry, “Why won’t anyone help me?!” As I talked with “Dawn”, it came out that she had missed two days of methadone treatments, and was in a lot of withdrawal pain. As well, one of her feet was extremely swollen, and an earlier stroke had affected a lot of her physical movements.

Dawn told me that when she went to the hospital to see about her foot and about getting methadone, she was told she was going to have to wait and shouldn’t come to the hospital when she was high. She left after waiting for four hours, but when she tried to go back to her apartment, her methadone withdrawal symptoms made her neighbours lock her out after accusing her of “being a druggie”.

As Dawn wandered the streets in pain and frustration, she began to yell at passing traffic to stop and help her. By the time I found her, Dawn was utterly convinced that everyone passing by just thought she was a “dirty hooker drug addict”, and that’s why they wouldn’t stop. As we stood in the snow, Dawn’s pain was palpable as told me how hard it is to change- she didn’t work the streets anymore and was getting off drugs, but still no one seemed to believe she was anything but a “worthless crackhead”. She asked me how she was supposed to believe in herself if no one else seemed to. Her own self-worth had taken another huge blow from all her negative experiences that day- they had reinforced her belief that she would never really be able to make a difference in her own life, that no one wanted to help her.

I asked Dawn what help she wanted- did she want me to call an ambulance? Give her a bus ticket? Walk with her back to her apartment? It turns out she didn’t want any of those things- I think she had been yelling for help in the deepest sense: “Help me to believe in myself. Help me to change. Help me find hope.”

Dawn has challenged me to consider more fully what we mean when we say we want to “help” people affected by poverty- I'm realizing it is sometimes easier, and so much more complicated, then we think.

Running to End Homelessness

Last year, I ran 2524 kms. Essentially, that is like running from Edmonton to Hamilton, Calgary to Mexico or doing 42 round trips between Edmonton and Calgary. When I look back on those kms, the highlight was the 21kms that I ran on May 29th in my Run to End Homelessness in the Calgary Marathon. During that run, I capped off a fundraising effort that brought in $13,900 in support of The Mustard Seed’s vision of building community, growing hope and supporting change. Running, by nature, is a pretty individual sport, calling on inner determination and discipline. When I ran the half marathon in Calgary, it gave me a chance to reach out to others as I ran one step at a time. It felt amazing to put on my shoes and run the 16,000 steps in solidarity for our homeless neighbours.

If you were one of those generous people who sponsored me to run in 2011, I cannot thank you enough. Furthermore, I truly hope I can count on you to support the same initiative again this year. We are once again featured charities in both the Calgary and Edmonton Marathon weekends, which provides me with the opportunity to run for the men and women who come to The Mustard Seed in search of hope. What's more, is that it provides you with that opportunity as well. Together, we can run to end homelessness, inviting our friends and family to sponsor us in our effort. Don’t worry if you are not a runner (yet). Both races offer distances from 5 km to 42 km and walking is absolutely an option. Plus, you’ve got 109 days to get ready for Calgary and 193 to prepare for Edmonton.

When Eric Liddle famously said, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.” I think he may have been thinking of a run like this. Sign up and join the team that’s running to end homelessness. If you are unable to run, please give generously today.

What is Justice?

What is Justice?
Have you ever considered the word “justice”?

Here’s how the dictionary defines it:
jus•tice noun 1.: The quality of being just; righteousness, equitableness, or moral rightness: to uphold the justice of a cause. 2. The administering of deserved punishment or reward. (Dictionary.com)

The Bible talks about justice in a lot of different ways:

Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause. Isaiah 1:17

But let justice roll down like waters And righteousness like an ever-flowing stream. Amos 5:24

But what does all this talk about justice really mean for us? Administer punishment to the person we see littering? Go pleading for the widows to our government officials? Can we turn on a tap and see justice flow out like water? How does justice actually work? What does it look like?

Theologian Walter Brueggemann writes, “covenant members who practice justice and righteousness are to be active advocates for the poor and marginalized; that’s how we love God, by actively loving our neighbor.” Civil rights activist Cornel West says, “Never forget that justice is what love looks like in public.”

God’s justice is all about equality. The invitation of the Gospel is to live in such a way that aims to correct the inequalities in our community; sharing resources, knowledge, and opportunity. I like how the prophet Amos says, “Let justice roll down like waters.” The neat thing about water is that it spreads out equally wherever it is; it fills all areas in the same way. This is how I imagine justice to look- like water in a pond, there may be an uneven bottom, but the top is level; equal, all the areas of the pond are filled with water. Water doesn’t judge the bottom of the pond, which nook or cranny is worthy of being filled, it just fills everything up equally.

Perhaps that is how justice should work today. Loving our neighbor like water filling a pond; not judging the worthiness of the neighbor, just filling each one up with love and justice equally.

The following is a link to a video about Justice. It asks us: “If justice and injustice were embodied by humans, what would they have to say to us? Whose voice would sound more familiar?”

Have a look HERE to find out.

Redefining "Neighbour"

The Mustard Seed currently has a picture featured predominantly on its website. The photo is of a man holding up a cardboard sign that says, “I used to be someone’s neighbour”. The scene reminds us that homelessness is closer than we might think- that people affected by this displacement are sometimes those just like our neighbours, co-workers and friends.

But I think the sign in the picture also asks us to think deeper about the full definition of “neighbour”. Are our neighbours just those who live geographically close to us? Because someone does not have a home, does that make them no longer our neighbour?

Whenever we have faith-based groups come to The Mustard Seed in Edmonton, a big part of how we talk about our inner-city community, about poverty, and about our mandate as Christians regarding these topics is to focus on the Gospels’ call to “love your neighbour as yourself.” We run a workshop with many visiting youth groups titled “Who is your neighbour?” in order to emphasize that our neighbours are not just those who live near to us, but include all people both locally and globally. We talk about what “loving your neighbour” looks like in action, and how groups can respond when their “neighbours” are faced with poverty and injustice.

Poverty and brokenness can have a devastating effect on neighbourliness. People affected by poverty and homelessness often have their right, God-created relationships as neighbours distorted and broken by sin and the effects of poverty. They are put in a position where they no longer feel like they are anyone’s neighbour- they are rootless, disconnected, and too often forgotten.

While the photo on our website tells us that its subject is no longer someone’s neighbour- in the traditional sense of no longer living in a home next to someone- this man is definitely still our neighbour in a wider, more significant way. In fact, as a person faced with homelessness, he is even more in need of the love of all of us fellow neighbours!