The Gift of Change

The other day I was observing a poverty-related discussion that was happening within a group of my friends. I do this frequently in the hopes that they forget I work where I do, have an honest conversation, and then I can give them my two-cents at the end of the discussion. This particular chat was about panhandling, and how they respond to being asked for money on the street. One friend said that she’s always a ‘sucker’ when she’s asked for change, and will give it to the asker. Another said she will never give to the asker because she’s sure it wouldn’t go towards food or bus fare, and that it would go towards drugs and/or alcohol. I believe this to be the most common view on panhandling. A third friend stepped in with something I hadn’t heard before: “If you give them money and it goes to drugs or alcohol, you’re helping them reach rock bottom and, therefore, recovery, sooner.” I’m sure she was quoting something she’d heard elsewhere, but I'd literally never heard that before and was surprised by it.

Anyway, one question I’m often asked is

 “What do you do (personally) when someone asks you for money on the street?”

Now, I can’t tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, but I’ll tell you my own, personal thoughts on the issue.

Generally, I just say sorry and don't usually give out any change. Why? Probably partly because I’m aware of the services available in our city, all within 2km of where I’m often asked, and partly because I don’t know where the money will go - and sometimes I’m not okay with that. I’m not saying that folks who ask for it are lying to you, but there’s a chance of that. Some might just see it as survival.

Sometimes, I am okay with that. And that’s the key. Each individual needs to decide for themselves if they are or are not okay with what happens to their money after it passes from their possession. If you aren’t, you should stick to donating to an agency you trust. If you are okay with not knowing, then give away! On occasion, if my hand is in my pocket, jingling some change around, I’ll pull it out and hand it to someone. I don’t think about where my money could go, or what rock bottom could or could not be reached because of my paltry contribution. Once that money passes out of your hands, you have to truly let it go. You need to make the decision when you give them the money that you’re truly giving them the money. A gift – and, like any true gift, they receive it and are grateful, and don’t owe you anything.

And maybe, just maybe, by giving them the gift of change, you’ll be giving them … the gift of change.

How do you decide whether to give to a panhandler or not?

- Sarah
Follow Sarah on Twitter @ispeakcanadian

Clothed In Confidence

Hi, I'm Laura U. I'm an employment coach at The Mustard Seed in Calgary and this is my first time on the blog. I was assigned as Sandra’s Employment Coach a few weeks ago and met with her for the first time soon after. She sat with me in the intake room, and I asked to hear her story.

“Oh, my story is sad, sad,” she whispered. ”In my country there is too much war”.

I left it at that, sensing she would rather not go further. However, I did learn that Sandra is from Uganda and came to Calgary to find work.

“I need to find confidence to interact with people in a job”, she told me. “Can you help me find confidence?”

I told her I would try.

One of our first steps toward confidence is being taken today. We are going to Making Changes, a not-for-profit agency that outfits women with professional clothing for the workplace.

We arrive in the afternoon and Sandra’s eyes widen as she takes in the place, which is set up like a clothing boutique. Racks of clothing fill the room, one corner is stacked high with shoes, and a standing coat hanger dangles with purses. Another shelf is covered with brand-new cosmetics.

We are paired with a volunteer stylist who leaps to action, handing Sandra dress pants in eggplant and khaki. Then shirts in bright colors and soft fabrics are brought out. Sandra receives each item with stunned graciousness, her eyes full of light. She says little, but she is beaming.

Sandra steps into the dressing room, and our stylist looks at me and says, “She is wonderful.” She is awed, as I am, by Sandra. She shines.

In a world torn by war, oppression, and violence, Uganda is no exception. It would seem that the brutal reality of war would harden one’s heart. Often, however, as I and others in the Employment Centre have seen, it has the opposite effect. In some individuals, the need for God grows stronger. Sandra had told me in the car on the way to Making Changes that she prays a lot. She has to pray a lot, she says. It is a means of survival. Sandra has kept the hope planted by Christ, and it shows.

We prepare to leave Making Changes. Sandra fills out a survey, and when asked if she is now ready to enter the workplace with confidence, she checks “strongly agree”.

In the car on the way home she tells me that she has read in Scripture that God has good plans for His children. A few more times she whispers it: “Good plans”. Her confidence in God’s goodness has renewed my own. And with that, we ride back toward downtown Calgary - clothed in the confidence that comes from trusting Him.

On Helping

I was walking home from work last Saturday evening when I heard a woman’s voice calling out down the sidewalk. With tears streaming down her face, she was standing by the road waving her arms and yelling at passing cars, “Help! Help! Why won’t anyone help me?!” It was getting dark and snowing heavily- no one was stopping.

I walked towards her, admittedly a little nervous. When I reached her, she collapsed into sobs in my arms, continuing to cry, “Why won’t anyone help me?!” As I talked with “Dawn”, it came out that she had missed two days of methadone treatments, and was in a lot of withdrawal pain. As well, one of her feet was extremely swollen, and an earlier stroke had affected a lot of her physical movements.

Dawn told me that when she went to the hospital to see about her foot and about getting methadone, she was told she was going to have to wait and shouldn’t come to the hospital when she was high. She left after waiting for four hours, but when she tried to go back to her apartment, her methadone withdrawal symptoms made her neighbours lock her out after accusing her of “being a druggie”.

As Dawn wandered the streets in pain and frustration, she began to yell at passing traffic to stop and help her. By the time I found her, Dawn was utterly convinced that everyone passing by just thought she was a “dirty hooker drug addict”, and that’s why they wouldn’t stop. As we stood in the snow, Dawn’s pain was palpable as told me how hard it is to change- she didn’t work the streets anymore and was getting off drugs, but still no one seemed to believe she was anything but a “worthless crackhead”. She asked me how she was supposed to believe in herself if no one else seemed to. Her own self-worth had taken another huge blow from all her negative experiences that day- they had reinforced her belief that she would never really be able to make a difference in her own life, that no one wanted to help her.

I asked Dawn what help she wanted- did she want me to call an ambulance? Give her a bus ticket? Walk with her back to her apartment? It turns out she didn’t want any of those things- I think she had been yelling for help in the deepest sense: “Help me to believe in myself. Help me to change. Help me find hope.”

Dawn has challenged me to consider more fully what we mean when we say we want to “help” people affected by poverty- I'm realizing it is sometimes easier, and so much more complicated, then we think.

Community

“During our orientation at the beginning of the week, you talked a lot about ‘the community’ at The Mustard Seed and in the inner-city. You referred to people here as ‘community members’. At that point, I thought you were just trying to refer nicely to clients of a soup kitchen. Now that I’ve spent a week here, I’ve realized there really IS a community here- and people here really look after each other.”

“I’ve lived in my middle-class suburban neighbourhood for almost 20 years, and I still can only tell you the names of 2 or 3 of my neighbours. After spending a weekend at The Mustard Seed and in the inner-city, I am amazed at how everyone seems to know each other, and in awe of the community that exists here.”

These are just two of many comments that I’ve heard from visitors to The Mustard Seed who came in to the inner city expecting something much different than what they experienced. In many ways, there is an amazing community here! People in our neighbourhood are full of strength, tenacity, and care for one another- people know one another deeply.

At the same time, I don’t want to romanticize the community in Edmonton’s inner city- it is broken, unhealthy and dysfunctional in many different ways. And yes, there are definitely people for whom this is not a good community to be part of- it is too full of triggers and stress. (But isn’t most of this true for the communities any of us belong to?)

However, it has been suggested that The Mustard Seed is a place where we want to help people and then send them off, hoping never to see them here again- praying that that they have found somewhere else to belong. Like I said above, this is certainly true of what we should hope for some people. But I don’t think it is- or should be- true for everyone. There is a community here, one that has been and is a lifeline for countless people. Let’s continue to work on ways to empower people to strengthen their community, to make it a healthier place to be, rather than simply assuming there is somewhere better for them to belong. God calls us to participate in restoring and renewing the world- one broken community at a time.

Do you agree? Disagree? Comments welcome!

What is Justice?

What is Justice?
Have you ever considered the word “justice”?

Here’s how the dictionary defines it:
jus•tice noun 1.: The quality of being just; righteousness, equitableness, or moral rightness: to uphold the justice of a cause. 2. The administering of deserved punishment or reward. (Dictionary.com)

The Bible talks about justice in a lot of different ways:

Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause. Isaiah 1:17

But let justice roll down like waters And righteousness like an ever-flowing stream. Amos 5:24

But what does all this talk about justice really mean for us? Administer punishment to the person we see littering? Go pleading for the widows to our government officials? Can we turn on a tap and see justice flow out like water? How does justice actually work? What does it look like?

Theologian Walter Brueggemann writes, “covenant members who practice justice and righteousness are to be active advocates for the poor and marginalized; that’s how we love God, by actively loving our neighbor.” Civil rights activist Cornel West says, “Never forget that justice is what love looks like in public.”

God’s justice is all about equality. The invitation of the Gospel is to live in such a way that aims to correct the inequalities in our community; sharing resources, knowledge, and opportunity. I like how the prophet Amos says, “Let justice roll down like waters.” The neat thing about water is that it spreads out equally wherever it is; it fills all areas in the same way. This is how I imagine justice to look- like water in a pond, there may be an uneven bottom, but the top is level; equal, all the areas of the pond are filled with water. Water doesn’t judge the bottom of the pond, which nook or cranny is worthy of being filled, it just fills everything up equally.

Perhaps that is how justice should work today. Loving our neighbor like water filling a pond; not judging the worthiness of the neighbor, just filling each one up with love and justice equally.

The following is a link to a video about Justice. It asks us: “If justice and injustice were embodied by humans, what would they have to say to us? Whose voice would sound more familiar?”

Have a look HERE to find out.

Relationship Resolutions

Happy New Year from the Employment Centre! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and that the start to 2012 has brought fresh perspective and hope for positive change!

When I reflect on positive change in my own life, I am often first drawn to my interactions with others: how am I cherishing and investing in my existing relationships and preparing myself for new ones? Am I consciously making myself available to impact others and help them grow?

Whatever involvement you have with The Mustard Seed, if any, I challenge you to consider these questions. You may find that you’re prepared to reinvest some of that balance you’ve had saved in your relationship bank account. Even if it’s a small amount, the returns will be higher than you can imagine, as so many of the people we serve are in need of that investment, and there are so many ways to make that happen.

The Employment Centre offers a few of these opportunities. If you have a career, a few free hours a week, some computer skills, a voice in the business community, or really any of the above, I encourage you to couple that with your desire to help others and consider volunteering in this area.

One group of volunteers we have are those who help with job searching, résumés and interview skills. They meet with clients at our Centre Street location during the day or in the evening to work on these tangible tasks, but also to build relationships as they discuss goals and issues as they relate to achieving sustainable employment. We have great volunteers in place doing this now, but can always use more.

If you have an abundance of relationships, but more of which are found in the business community, those can also be helpful to our clients seeking to secure work. We have several inspirational “Volunteer Ambassadors” who are currently using their private-sector employer connections to spread the word about our program in their daily lives. There is a great message to spread about what’s happening here, but it takes relationships to disseminate it.

Our newest concept is a really exciting one. All of our clients have Employment Coaches, but support and mentorship beyond that can be truly invaluable. We’re looking for people to use their own employment experience as a way connect with someone who is seeking advice and encouragement as they pursue stable work. We will try to match clients with volunteers who share an interest in similar fields of work, but ultimately, real change and success will come from building a caring relationship.

If you would like to discuss any of these opportunities, please give us a call. And for the rest of you: what are your “relationship resolutions” for this year? Leave your comments below!

The Future of Community

Hi there,

I'm Ty and I work as a Team Lead in The Mustard Seed's Housing department in Calgary. I spend a lot of time in Transitional Housing on the third and fourth floors of our oldest building, 102 11 Ave SE.

It has been through many changes over the years of its existence, but after all of those, nothing has been cooler than what is happening now through community building.  The residents are creating safe home for themselves, partly with the help of Resident Advisors (RA). Essentially, I'm talking here about peer leadership. I'm talking about residents in the midst of life recovery voted into a leadership role by their peers. One for each floor, and I'll tell you what - it's empowering. Why?

It is representative of the community you live with recognizing your gifts and talents, much like becoming a member of the board of a community association. The coolest thing was when one floor embraced a true campaign spirit! We saw posters, conversations, and a victory by only two ballots to achieve a majority as a slate of four candidates were whittled down to two and then one. I saw a great sense of fun, community and the importance of one’s voice when living in a healthy community.

The RA is there as a first point of support for their neighbours, to help brainstorm solutions, host social events, mentor new residents in the culture and welcome new residents, etc. Beginning this process was a powerful step, not just for our guests, but for our staff as well. It was a sign that we were throwing out the charitable model we know best, to simply say, this is our community: staff, volunteers and residents.

We're getting ready to live in the future of community. Are you?

The Day it All Changed

Hi, I'm Karina, I'm the Executive Assistant to Jeff Dyer, our COO here at The Mustard Seed. Visiting Heritage Park drastically changed my perspective.  No, not of how much more modern our society is today compared to the past, but of people experiencing homelessness. Last year I had the opportunity of visiting Heritage Park in December with 8 of our clients and a few other volunteers.  We all loaded into the 15 passenger van and, when we arrived at the park, seemed to naturally split off into a few small tour groups. My group included Carissa*, John* and Silvia*, along with another volunteer.

I admit, before going on this outing, and before joining The Mustard Seed, I was scared of homeless people I’d see on the streets. I made the generalization that they ALL were dirty, did drugs or drank non-stop, didn’t have thoughts or feelings and enjoyed begging for change.  In short, I de-humanized them in my mind.

As we wandered through the park, I was able to talk with several of the other group members, and got to hear their perspectives and feelings about various things. Carissa, in particular, shared with me throughout the afternoon about her struggles with mental illness, but how she’s doing much better and how her relationship with God is her source of strength. After a few of such conversations, it hit me: each person experiencing homelessness has a unique story & struggles, and at the end of the day is just a human being like me. There’s nothing to be afraid of. This seems like such a small shift in thinking now, but at that time, it was a big step. 

Since that day, I’ve made it a priority to connect with the people we serve, and often the small conversations we have at lunch are a highlight of my day.  I’d encourage you to reach out and simply talk with someone you have a certain notion about or otherwise wouldn’t. This doesn’t necessarily have to be a person experiencing homelessness, but could be that seemingly unapproachable neighbour or the quiet immigrant. It just may change your perspective and generalizations, something that if we all did more often would lead to increased mutual understanding and ultimately societal change.

- Karina

Real People

"I want to stay because people here care about me" muttered Laura (not her real name) as she sat sobbing on the bench in the lobby. My co-worker, Joel, and I attempted to ease the pain of the reality that she would not be able to stay at our shelter any longer, due to various medical issues that we were unable to accommodate - not the least of which was her passing out mid-sentence and nearly falling to the floor on a number of occasions.  This may sound strange that someone in this state would "want" to stay at an emergency homeless shelter, but it is not an uncommon desire among many of the guests that utilize The Mustard Seed's services. 

My name is Jordan, and I work frontline at The Mustard Seed Shelter in Calgary. For someone like Laura, an elderly individual who had been on the streets for a number of years, slipping through the cracks, and being cycled through the system, living off of a very small monthly cheque from the government and picking bottles for a living, it is very easy to feel alone. Couple this with her mild personality and small figure and it made her somewhat forgettable.  With her failing body, being on over two dozen prescription medications, and her deteriorating mental health in a battle to overcome severe depression, her situation was very bleak. And as I sat there and witnessed the anguish in her face, while trying to fight my own tears of sorrow, I had once again been reminded of the humanity and unsurpassable worth of the person sitting in front of me.  This lady was not a statistic, or a number, or my "work", she was, is, a real person, who has real pain, just like me.

I no longer appreciate the term "homeless people/person", when you use the word homeless as a title to describe someone, you are attaching a very painful and traumatic experience to their identity, creating a cultural divide of "us and them".  The reality is that these are valuable, legitimate members of society who are experiencing homelessness.  Yes, many of them have made decisions that have born negative consequences and may very well have put them in the place they are in, but to strip someone of value and worth because of their social standing, or even because of the wrong decisions they have made, is a travesty, and it is often only a reflection of how insignificant we ourselves feel.  So I have decided because of Laura and others like her, I will know longer work to serve the 'homeless' but rather, I will serve real people who do not have a home. Semantics? Maybe.  But also something to think about.


Jordan T. Swaim
Overnight Support Worker

Courage to Change

The fridge died.  The warm contents of the freezer were not the result of a son having left the door ajar as my husband first thought.  No, the appliance had failed and did not warrant repair. The stove was the same vintage as the fridge so we decided on a pre-emptive strike stove wise and replaced them both.  Problem - the new stove doesn’t have an outlet to plug the coffee pot into like our old one, so coffee needs to happen on a different part of the counter.  The next logical place for it has meant I had to move the basket that contains the deluge of paper that I will deal with later.  Now I don’t have a place for the basket, or the deluge of paper that I don’t want to deal with.  The change grates me.  Petty, I know. 

My name is Debbie, and I’ve been working as a reintegration chaplain at The Mustard Seed Edmonton for about a year and a half I work with women before and mostly after their release from federal prison. Most days I can’t believe someone is paying me to go to interesting places and meet amazing people.  The stories of their lives and how they came to be involved in the correctional system as employees or inmates or volunteers are compelling.  Some stories are horrific, some noble, some sad, some funny, some inspirational and rarely are they only one of those things.  They all touch me in some way.

It is the stories that are being written, the stories of moving forward that leave me marvelling at my good fortune to be a witness and, in the mercy of God, perhaps a character as they unfold.  My vocabulary fails me when I try to explain the stories of women who have the courage to change everything and start again.  It shouts of how lousy their life has been if everything known and familiar now must be rejected to create a healthy life. A new locale, a new occupation, new friends, and new ways of dealing with life are all part of the wholesale change.  The stakes are so high, and each element of change is daunting on its own - let alone stacked up with the others like a pile of fragile china.  I can not imagine what it would be like to have your life deconstructed and face rebuilding with tools that are only recently acquired.  Perhaps it is my own irritation with change that makes what they are doing so extraordinary to me, but I’d prefer to think it is witnessing this brave thing called courage that leaves me feeling like I’ve been at Niagara Falls.

Fear and doubt are not absent in the presence of courage, but they do not make the courage any less remarkable.   They make it authentic. 

I’m learning in the work of reintegration that it is important for me to help women
make good connections in the community, to support good decisions, to listen to the fears, to comfort in the sorrow but perhaps one of the most important supports is recognizing courage, naming it, applauding it and admiring the beauty of the one who displays it.

- Debbie

The Wide (and Wild) World of Work

Tucked away in an office at the end of the hallway in The Creative Centre, I could very easily go unnoticed as I plug away making phone calls to potential employers for our guests. Instead, however, I have been encouraged to “hit the road” by getting out and meeting these employers, to see firsthand where they work and what they do, all in the name of uncovering sustainable work opportunities for our guests.

Since The Employment Centre launch on August 2, we’ve had over 75 guests come through an intake, making them “clients” of our program. The range of industries and jobs on their resumés is extensive, as is the range of jobs they hope to do as they strive towards sustainable employment. When we first started the program, the big push was for general labour and construction jobs, but I’m pleased to report that with creativity and open minds, we’ve gone far beyond the original plan, making “hitting the road” a lot more interesting.

I’ve been able to get out and explore some worksites I truly never imagined I’d see. All in one day, I visited a downtown commercial cleaning company, an organic worm farm and the head office of Samaritan’s Purse. I’ve also toured a dry-cleaning facility, a grocery store warehouse and a welding shop (which, might I add, has hired one of our clients full-time!), to name a few more. It has truly been eye-opening, and I hope that this little blog post has been this way for you as well, as you think about the connections you might have to the business community. We all have networks, and though we may not think they’d be a “fit” to hire our guests, it’s always worth a try. As we’ve already seen, a little creativity and a few open minds can go a long way. We’re all here to see real life-change with our guests, so here’s just one more way you can be a part of it!

Toilet Paper or Milk?

I stood in line at the supermarket with my lonely frozen pizza in hand. As I placed my pizza on the conveyer and waited my turn, the elderly woman in front of me was inputting her PIN into the pinpad and the cashier was counting a series of pennies on the counter. “I can take 22 cents off,” she says, as she finishes counting the coins. “You’re not going to have enough,” she states next as I see the elderly woman has handed her an ATM slip with her bank account balance. It hits me with hurricane force that between the pennies on the counter and the balance in her bank, she can’t pay for her grocery bill. Then I look up and see her grocery bill is $8.80 and consists of toilet paper and milk. $8.80. Toilet paper and milk. That’s it. “Which would you like to leave? The milk?” “Yes, the milk,” she says, as my heart tears into jagged pieces and the cashier voids the item. My mind was racing about how unfair it was for this woman to choose between those two necessary items.

What is this woman’s story? Where is her community? Where are the people who love and care for her and make sure she has toilet paper and milk in her home – even if she can’t afford it?   This woman could be a horrible person who steals and spends her money on terrible things, I don’t know. The point was, at that very moment she was in need of help. Plainly put, I’m a stranger in a store, she doesn’t know me from Eve, and I’m one of the three people witnessing this woman’s financial shortfall, grocery bagger and cashier included. And the realization was – her community was me. I harp on all day about building community, growing hope and supporting change. Here was an opportunity to do perhaps all three.

“I’ll pay for your milk,” I said as I stepped to where her and the cashier could hear me. She didn’t insist otherwise, but instead asked if I was sure, and then thanked me repeatedly. I handed the cashier a $5 bill to cover the cost of the milk and then a bit more. $3.80 was the woman’s new total, and as she continued thanking me, her last words before leaving were “may God bless you.”

Little did she know He already had.