“I AM a POSITIVE Person, Jerkface!”

I look at him. He looks at me. He is definitely drunk, but I easily see past that; not a good skill to have, really. I work the door at The Mustard Seed in Edmonton during meals and do my best to prevent all drug and alcoholic users from entering our zero-tolerance force field. He starts swearing - not in a mean or threatening way, but with very honest indignation. Standing straight, his left knee is pulled unnaturally out to the side as if a muscle-head wrestler bent it the wrong way and forgot to put it back. He manages to hold this position as the rest of his body sways back and forth in his alcohol-induced state. He has waited a few years for knee surgery and, out of his hatred of prescription painkillers, he uses alcohol to survive the day and sleep at night. Good news: he just got an appointment with a clinic so that he can soon get the surgery. I try to be positive. “Be happy, friend! You will be getting the surgery soon”. Bad move Jeremiah. He swears again. This time directed at me with both honest frustration and sheer meanness. He is obviously not in a very positive mood.

People have said I'm a positive person. I have noticed, however, that it is very difficult to be positive to those who have witnessed, and been victim to, atrocious things. They see the world through the tainted lens of these traumatic experiences and comprehend my positive remarks as mere fiction and fantasy outside their own perspective. My positivity is not a valid part of their “real world”. It has been a goal of mine to ground my optimism in reality and in a way that they can understand. This has been difficult, although, I have made some progress.

One community member, who is a regular here at The Mustard Seed, was having some trouble with employment and getting his identification. I wanted to encourage him so I took something from his “world” – his regular attendance at The Mustard Seed – and relayed it back to him in a positive way. I simply said that he was a positive influence in the community of The Mustard Seed. This was also grounded in the real, in his world, because I had noticed his generosity to other community members. And I think he got the message.

Leave me a comment and let me know what the real world is through your lens.

Love Lots,

Jeremiah

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