Under the Glass Ceiling

One of the community members said something, which really shook me recently:

“How can you live with a disability? It’s like you're living in a room with a glass ceiling. You can see all that you want to achieve, but you know you can never get there. How can you live with a disability? ” 

The same can be also said for many trauma victims; for those who continually dress their wounds in addictive remedies; for those who, from birth, had no one to admire and nurture their potential.

The worst part is perhaps that the glass of the ceiling is transparent. They can see who they could have been. They see their dreams clearly, yet increasingly distant; fleeting wisps of memories never theirs. Cursing their present state, they dive deeper into the walls that confine them and drown in their own shadows.

Housing First has been the model chosen to undo these types of situations. The housing program of the Mustard Seed in Edmonton has recently been approved by Homeward Trust, the first apartment building has been filling rapidly, and other apartments are possibly in the works! I, Jeremiah, a mere summer student intern, have been graciously cannon-balled into the middle of this extravaganza. And I love it! And I despair in it!

I love the stories and laughter we share when we sit together with a meal. I love it when I spill hamburger all over myself when the sarcastic excitement of 50% off all clothes in Value Village hits the room. I admire the generosity present between the tenants. Even the precious cigarette is given away freely to a friend. On the flip side, I despair at the sight of deep scars through skin which give credence to the stories that tumble out at unexpected moments. I despair when their pain squeezes them so tightly that they, with subtle and unintentional words and actions, sometimes hurt each other.

So what of the glass ceiling? Well, they move out - out of those four walls - and enter a new community where the sky is the limit. Through the housing program they come to a home. One of the tenants told me yesterday,

“It’s hard to find a home, but this place really feels like a home. It takes a heart to make a home and this place has a lot of heart!”  

A home is a place of belonging where it does not matter what you have done or how short you have fallen from who you could have been. All that matters is right now, and who you are making yourself to be with the support of all those around you. Here the sky does not become the eternal reminder that your hopes have failed, but rather the place where your imagination can find hope again. I am very thankful to be a part of this extravaganza.

Love Lots,

Jeremiah

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We all dare to dream...

As children we are taught to dream. We are taught to aim high, that the sky is the limit, that we can be and do anything we set our minds to. Some of the things that were dreams of mine over the last 24 years are as follows...

gain a career as a fire fighter

become an international rockstar

take ballet classes

have a father figure

see my parents reconciled

make good friends

travel the world

escape those who brought abuse into my life as a child

teach chemistry as a lab technician

graduate high school

lead a missions team

drop out of college

finish college

obtain a 3.5 GPA

get married

change the world

I have seen some of these dreams realized, but obviously, some of these things were and continue to be completely out of my control. For example, there is nothing that I could have done to see my parents relationship healed, nor could I have chosen a father figure to replace the void in my life due to the end of my parents' marriage. No amount of decision or choice or maturity or goal setting could allow me to see these things become reality. These aren't dreams that I could attain by my own volition and will. 

Similarly, homelessness and poverty are not the result of choices made. There are circumstances to which some are born into that cannot be escaped as easily as it may seem. We do not scorn those born into majority world (or third world) countries for not having been born into more affluent families. We do not judge children who have been abandoned by careless parents for not having been more responsible. We do not assume that those whose lives have been paralyzed by disease have asked for the hand that was dealt to them. Yet we marginalize others for their homelessness that we, as a society, have chosen on their behalf in so many ways.

You'll notice that mental health issues, sexual exploitation, addictions, and poor food security never made my list of goals throughout my life. As a child I never dreamt of becoming homeless. This may come as a surprise but the same is true of my friends within The Mustard Seed community.

Nobody chooses homelessness or poverty. Nobody dreams of these things.

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