Ego, Empathy & Ending Poverty

Have you ever seen a little kid running and suddenly do a face plant into the ground? Or watched a clip from America’s Funniest Home Videos where a backyard stunt goes horribly wrong?  What happens when you see this?  If you’re like me, you immediately cringe and partly shut your eyes, your legs might go numb, or you grab the body part that the victim just potentially injured.

In a strange way you feel their pain…it’s like for a moment you’re in their shoes.

Why is that?

Scientists attribute it to “mirror neurons” in the frontal region of the brain; they seem to mediate empathy and allow us to sense the pain of others as if it were our own – just by seeing it.  I guess this helps explain why I cry every time I watch “The Notebook.”  Although it seems we are soft-wired for empathy, it does not automatically mean we are compassionate to others.  This altruistic tendency must be cultivated in order to reach its full potential.

“Do to others what you would have them do to you…”

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Jesus seemed to see the direct connection between experiencing the love of God, self-love, and loving others; he experienced the connectedness between all of us and everything around us.  He also noticed how our ego, what Paul calls our “old self”, tends towards violence and apathy.  Judgement, greed, intolerance, prejudice and hatred all flow out of a me-first mentality.  So does apathy, which in most cases is more violent than hatred.  Jesus sought to cultivate the heart to allow the empathic nature to grow and strengthen…preparing the soil to allow the seeds of compassion to sprout and take root.

It’s funny, children are so good at this.  As soon as one baby cries the other will start crying, as if they can feel each other’s hunger.  A kid on the playground willingly shares her goodies with her friends; in a pure and simple way she understands that her friend’s happiness affects her own. Like Jesus said, we need to be like little children, having open minds and hearts to our shared humanity.

What is my point exactly?  We have come to a place in our history when it is no longer advantageous to see the destruction of our “enemy” or stockpile our wealth and ignore the needs of our neighbor.  We are now so interdependent on the well-being of the “other” that war, discrimination and apathy are out-dated.  Like the Dali Lama said, “We must strive for reconciliation and always remember the interests of others.  We cannot destroy our neighbors or ignore their interests!  This would ultimately lead to our own suffering.”

Homelessness and poverty in general affects all of us; the systemic, economic, social service, government, and societal costs negatively impact everyone.  The question becomes to what point are we awakened to this fact and how do we respond?  The evidence is there…we are all connected and the well-being of your neighbor directly impacts your own.  Our fences, gates and closed doors cannot keep it’s effect out, but only perpetuates the problem.

Do you allow yourself to feel the pain of others?  How you respond to the needs of your neighbor and the community you live in?

How are you cultivating a compassionate heart and love for others?  Do you see the hurting person as your own brother or sister; a part of the whole human family?  Do you see how much your neighbor needs you and you need them?

The Mustard Seed cannot end homeless alone; the roots of poverty spread deeper and wider than its reach.  You have eyes, ears, hands, feet and a heart, so look around you; listen to the cries for compassion and belonging; reach out and embrace; walk a mile in their shoes; feel the heartbeat of a humanity that you are an integral part of.

- Josh

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Pardon the Interruption

It's not often you'll read anything like this on The Mustard Seed blog.

Since starting at The Mustard Seed, I've worked hard to overcome what many might consider a shopping and nice restaurant addiction, so what I'm about to talk about may sound counter-intuitive. I have finally come to enjoy the pursuit of simple living, which I believe is something we can all be doing better. That said, I also believe that there is a season for everything, (in moderation, of course) so once in a while, getting dressed up for a fancy dinner on the town can be a really good thing. Allow me to provide you with an example: The 2012 Seeds of Hope Gala.

On September 28, we are heading downtown to Stephen Avenue, to the fabulous Hyatt Regency Calgary. There, guests will be dazzled by a spectacular meal, custom-designed to tantilize the tastebuds while conjuring up images of growth and hope. Following dinner, they will be treated to even more inspiring experiences, including an update on the successes and plans of The Mustard Seed delivered by our new CEO, Lyall Thomson, followed by a keynote address from Arlene Dickinson. You may know Arlene from her work as a host on the CBC's "Dragon's Den", or her success as the CEO of Venture Communications. And if you haven't heard of her, all the more reason to come see what makes her one of the most in-demand speakers in Canada. All in all, the evening is going to be one to remember (or else, I'm in trouble!)

I invite you to join us, even if it's not something you normally do. Really, it's not often that you get to have such a lovely evening out with wonderful people while simultaneously contributing to meaningful change in the lives of the less-fortunate. And it's probably also not often that you get to see a grown woman run around a ballroom like a chicken with its head cut off making sure you're all having a great time. (Look for me; I'll be the one in the black dress!)

If you're "not a gala person", that's ok, I won't tell anyone. Come anyway. And if you're REALLY "not a gala person", consider telling your boss, your neighbour or your great aunt June (who IS "a gala person") about the event. You're all welcome to give me a call for more information or to purchase tickets - call the main line at 403-269-1319 and ask for me, Lydia Nutbrown. You'll be glad you did.

And now back to your regularly scheduled blogging.


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We all dare to dream...

As children we are taught to dream. We are taught to aim high, that the sky is the limit, that we can be and do anything we set our minds to. Some of the things that were dreams of mine over the last 24 years are as follows...

gain a career as a fire fighter

become an international rockstar

take ballet classes

have a father figure

see my parents reconciled

make good friends

travel the world

escape those who brought abuse into my life as a child

teach chemistry as a lab technician

graduate high school

lead a missions team

drop out of college

finish college

obtain a 3.5 GPA

get married

change the world

I have seen some of these dreams realized, but obviously, some of these things were and continue to be completely out of my control. For example, there is nothing that I could have done to see my parents relationship healed, nor could I have chosen a father figure to replace the void in my life due to the end of my parents' marriage. No amount of decision or choice or maturity or goal setting could allow me to see these things become reality. These aren't dreams that I could attain by my own volition and will. 

Similarly, homelessness and poverty are not the result of choices made. There are circumstances to which some are born into that cannot be escaped as easily as it may seem. We do not scorn those born into majority world (or third world) countries for not having been born into more affluent families. We do not judge children who have been abandoned by careless parents for not having been more responsible. We do not assume that those whose lives have been paralyzed by disease have asked for the hand that was dealt to them. Yet we marginalize others for their homelessness that we, as a society, have chosen on their behalf in so many ways.

You'll notice that mental health issues, sexual exploitation, addictions, and poor food security never made my list of goals throughout my life. As a child I never dreamt of becoming homeless. This may come as a surprise but the same is true of my friends within The Mustard Seed community.

Nobody chooses homelessness or poverty. Nobody dreams of these things.

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Follow me on Twitter @katcardinal

The Size of a Mustard Seed

I recently had the opportunity to write about The Mustard Seed for a national faith-based magazine. I thought you might be interested in a few of my thoughts on life in the inner city. Enjoy!

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The inner city. There are probably words, ideas, and stories that come to mind when you think of the inner city community that exists in your city. Words like “addiction,” “poverty,” and “homelessness” may have surrounded or influenced the images of the inner city that, for whatever reason, have planted themselves in your mind and understanding. However, these characteristics are not the whole truth, nor are they the definers, of inner city communities. This was a lesson I learned firsthand only through experience, only as I made the inner city my community, only as I built real relationships in this community. The catalyst that started my journey into the inner city is a place I now look at with deep love and respect, a place known across the city of Edmonton as The Mustard Seed.

The Mustard Seed is a Christian not-for-profit organization that delivers basic services, housing and employment to those in need, and partners with the community to address poverty. As an organization, we affect change in the lives of people living in poverty through building community and building mutually respecting and mutually edifying relationships within the community. We are inspired by our faith to help those in need – physically, emotionally and spiritually – and we support people of faith from all denominations as part of our commitment to follow the example of Christ in bringing dignity to the marginalized. Our work is about meeting the basic needs and developing the gifts and talents of our community. The venue through which much of this is practically communicated is through our meal program and drop-in activities.

Foundational to The Mustard Seed’s drop-in recreational programming is the idea that broken relationships are central to the issue of poverty. It seems that perhaps what first needs to be addressed in the lives of those living in poverty is the need for healthy relationships. The staff, volunteers, and community members that compose The Mustard Seed community fully understand this reality. For us, tangibly embodying this means opening our space for drop-in activities like karaoke on Tuesdays, art night on Thursdays, and Hockey Night in Canada on Saturdays. In addition to these evening programs we also have a volunteer-run sewing program, we serve as a food depot that operates out of the Edmonton Food Bank, we regularly give free haircuts, and we redistribute gently used clothing and household items through our Personal Assistance Centre.

While these programs comprise only a portion of our Basic Services programs, these are the programs that create opportunity for authentic relationship, which can then serve as an entryway to next-level programs and services like advocacy, housing, and employment. Without first laying the foundation of relationship – that is, without knowing the stories of the people we serve – it is near impossible to make further connections to other services that are available through The Mustard Seed and other surrounding social agencies. If authentic relationship – that is to say, relationship without particular agenda – is not given primary focus in our outflow of services, we’ve not accomplished our goal.

It is because of genuine relationships within this community that I feel a belonging and connectedness to the inner city. The inner city neighbourhood that I have chosen to adopt as my own community tends to be associated with need, crime, and other characteristics that often incite fear and negative attitudes and opinions, perhaps similar to the images that came to your mind when first reading the words inner city. I’ll admit, prior to my experience in this community I had fallen victim to similar ideas.

The truth about the inner city – about any neighbourhood – is that relationships are what define a community, a truth that resounds within me because of my personal experiences within the inner city. It has been nearly two years since I started my employment at The Mustard Seed and I consider my time here to be an honour and a privilege. Without acceptance into this community I never would have met Thomas*, a man in his mid-40s diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD). Thomas has been separated from his family for the majority of his life, leading to his on-again-off-again homelessness, and he is unable to retain a full time job due to numerous health issues, all of which has led to occasional intravenous drug use. My friendship with Thomas has had its ups and downs, but every time I see him he is nearly in tears expressing his gratitude to be a part of a community that cares about the details of his everyday experiences, a community where people actually know his name. Thomas’ reality is that The Mustard Seed community is often the only place he feels like he is accepted, a place where he belongs.

As my relationships with people like Thomas deepen, my commitment to this community only solidifies further. Thomas’ smile and words of appreciation may appear small, but it is through Thomas that I am reminded that it is in the little things that life, love, hope and joy are found. These little things might often be as small as a mustard seed.