See You In the Neighborhood

Last week I met a handful of families, couples and singles who have to vacate their homes by December 15. The issue is mold, and a property owner who can’t or won’t take steps to properly fix the mold. I stood in the hallways of this building for a few hours with folks from a few other agencies and knocked on doors with a health and safety representative. They gave bad news, we gave good news. As agencies we were there to help, to tell people that we can offer support over the next few weeks as they hurry to find another place to live before Christmas. I have to say, I had mixed feelings about offering this good news. I was certainly happy that we (and these other agencies) can step in to help, but I also wonder how their community can respond. Sometimes, it seems, we rely too much on a systematic response and we don’t offer a human response. When can we (as communities and individuals) step in and help someone in need?

I need to make a confession. I don’t know many of my neighbors. I live in a condominium community in the SW of Calgary; my complex is set up as stacked townhouses, which means I have quite a few neighbors. In fact my garage is surrounded by about 9 other garages. I bought my house about a year ago and the couple who lives above me has lived there for about 6 months. Last week was the first time I’ve ever spoke to the neighbor that I have been parking next to for all that time. Her name is June and she is a lovely person. I’ve been missing out on the opportunity to know her for months now, and it seems like they might just be the type of people I’d want to know when I lock myself out of my house (which has happened 3 times now…) or when I need to complain about the condo board or need to borrow sugar… although more often I run out of olive oil. And perhaps I’m just the type of person that has something to offer them as well!

For me, these two thoughts are connected because I realized that I’m not making myself available to my own neighbors. If there is a senior citizen or new Canadian across the street at risk of losing their housing merely because of a language or technology barrier (a common reality), I can help! But, alas I haven’t met them, I don’t know them and they don’t know me. So I have a challenge for myself: to start making myself available to my neighbors. After all, perhaps there is some way I can offer support and justice to my neighbor, and perhaps a neighbor has something to offer me.


Peace

Remember

With winter around the corner, I thought about someone I met one afternoon during The Mustard Seed’s coffee drop in. Her name is Lena. Lena is often seen at The Mustard Seed wearing her signature pink scarf with matching pink lipstick. She’s always smiling and always gracious for everything she receives at The Mustard Seed. Yet, one snowy, cold afternoon I was driving home and there was Lena – that kind soul – walking outside thinly dressed - no sweater, no coat. She was wearing summer shoes too admist that snowy weather. Tears welled up in my eyes. No one should have to be outside in the winter cold. No one should have to be alone either. But, sometimes, people do not have everything we seem to take for granted.

It’s because of people like Lena that The Mustard Seed strives to provide what it can – basic needs in the form of meals, clothing and personal items - and now housing and employment. I am very pleased that The Mustard Seed is expanding into the latter of these two areas. Often a meal is the first step to a changed life. Housing and employment takes people like Lena beyond that first step so that they don’t have to be outside when it’s -30. And, although saying that sounds a bit harsh, it’s true.

If you are ever having a bad day, please remember what you have. There are people like Lena who even smile when they have much less than we do, even when they face the harsh, cold winter. And, please, keep them in your prayers and do what you can to help us help them. Hope can only grow with the support of people like you.

The Children Who Lead Us All

It was a cold and blowy day on Street Level two weeks ago. There was a knock on the doors and the wind blew in a little boy and his dad. The little boy announced “my name is Billy and I am 7” and proudly held up 7 fingers. Billy then explained, “Yesterday was my 7th birthday. Instead of presents for me I asked all my friends to bring a gift for the Mustard Seed.” Billy then handed over $80 in $5 dollar bills and a bundle of Tim Horton’s gift cards. Last week a little boy and his parents came for a tour, and he too brought gifts for the Mustard Seed, which he had asked for instead of gifts for himself for his birthday. On Friday I did a tour for a mom and her two children, who had the afternoon off from school. The kids each explained that they had their own rooms at home and were shocked when I told them that the people who sleep in our shelter have 369 roommates in their bedroom!

The Bible says, in Matthew 18:3, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Often it is easy to become bitter or negative or doubtful of the good of mankind as we watch the news or read the paper or see some of the things that go on around us. But it is important, no it is critical, that we remember that there is so much good, so much kindness and such commitment on the parts of many parents to ensure that their children truly understand not only how blessed they are but how important it is to take responsibility for our communities as a whole. This is where change begins, in the innocent and non-judgmental heart of a child who will truly lead us all.

Real People

"I want to stay because people here care about me" muttered Laura (not her real name) as she sat sobbing on the bench in the lobby. My co-worker, Joel, and I attempted to ease the pain of the reality that she would not be able to stay at our shelter any longer, due to various medical issues that we were unable to accommodate - not the least of which was her passing out mid-sentence and nearly falling to the floor on a number of occasions.  This may sound strange that someone in this state would "want" to stay at an emergency homeless shelter, but it is not an uncommon desire among many of the guests that utilize The Mustard Seed's services. 

My name is Jordan, and I work frontline at The Mustard Seed Shelter in Calgary. For someone like Laura, an elderly individual who had been on the streets for a number of years, slipping through the cracks, and being cycled through the system, living off of a very small monthly cheque from the government and picking bottles for a living, it is very easy to feel alone. Couple this with her mild personality and small figure and it made her somewhat forgettable.  With her failing body, being on over two dozen prescription medications, and her deteriorating mental health in a battle to overcome severe depression, her situation was very bleak. And as I sat there and witnessed the anguish in her face, while trying to fight my own tears of sorrow, I had once again been reminded of the humanity and unsurpassable worth of the person sitting in front of me.  This lady was not a statistic, or a number, or my "work", she was, is, a real person, who has real pain, just like me.

I no longer appreciate the term "homeless people/person", when you use the word homeless as a title to describe someone, you are attaching a very painful and traumatic experience to their identity, creating a cultural divide of "us and them".  The reality is that these are valuable, legitimate members of society who are experiencing homelessness.  Yes, many of them have made decisions that have born negative consequences and may very well have put them in the place they are in, but to strip someone of value and worth because of their social standing, or even because of the wrong decisions they have made, is a travesty, and it is often only a reflection of how insignificant we ourselves feel.  So I have decided because of Laura and others like her, I will know longer work to serve the 'homeless' but rather, I will serve real people who do not have a home. Semantics? Maybe.  But also something to think about.


Jordan T. Swaim
Overnight Support Worker

The Beauty of Vulnerability

I love working at The Mustard Seed, but sometimes after a long day, when someone approaches me to talk, I just don’t have the desire or the energy to be fully present to them. John (we’ll call him), doesn’t come to The Mustard Seed very often, but when he does we always have very awkward and strange conversations that I don’t look forward to, so when I arrived at work already exhausted one evening after a long day at school to find John, eager to chat, I have to admit I was less than thrilled. It was a busy night, the kind where the entire shift can go by without a moment’s pause. I was thankful for this because no sooner had John begun to chat, I was called away to deal with a flooded toilet and then a conflict, and on and on the list went. Whilst maneuvering through the crowded drop-in from one task to the other, John reached out and caught my attention for a moment; seated alone in the midst of the chaos of a hundred other people talking and laughing, eating, playing games, and sharing community together. John looked up at me from his seat and said, "Loneliness is terrible. Sometimes it’s nice just to be with other people, isn’t it?" I think for the first time I heard John not with my ears, but with the whole of me; in this moment of vulnerability, I really saw him there as a human being.

Author and priest Henri Nouwen said, "Community is the place where the person you least want to live with always lives." Today I am thankful for people like John, who remind me that The Mustard Seed exists because, not only is it nice to be with other people, it’s essential; it’s what we were created for. I am thankful for John because he forces me to collide head on with the true meaning of community and, through awkwardness and uncomfortable conversations, invites me to understand and practice community better.

Reflect, Wonder and Observe!

Almost every Wednesday morning throughout the year, The Mustard Seed in Edmonton hosts a different grade 6 class from schools throughout the city. These classes come as part of the City Hall school program- a week-long, hands-on learning experience held at Edmonton’s City Hall where students gain an understanding of municipal government with a focus on citizenship, the environment and social responsibility.

At the end of each day at City Hall school, students spend time creating R.O.W.S- a way to Reflect, Observe, Wonder and Sketch what they participated in that particular day. The City Hall teacher then passes on the R.O.W.S to me and the other group facilitator so we can read these reflections about the students’ time at The Mustard Seed.

I always love reading through the R.O.W.S the following week, and yesterday I received a piece of writing that I wanted to share, from a grade 6 student at Bisset Elementary.

“[Today] I realized that not all homeless people are bad… Anyone could be homeless. I could be homeless, my best friends could be homeless, the bus driver could be homeless. Homelessness means that you are stronger than others, that you are skilled, you are independent, that every day you wake up cold and hungry yet you still have hope and you still are fighting. Every day you hear people call you names and laugh at you but you keep going. You still struggle to get food on your plate and a blanket wrapped around you, but you don’t give up and that’s what makes you strong. You know that one day you will be free and all your suffering will be worth it if you keep on going. You will be stronger when this time of poverty has passed you.”

There are probably some ideas in here that I would challenge, but overall it’s a pretty astute reflection. I certainly know a lot of people in The Mustard Seed community who match this description of strength and perseverance!

Experts say that kids form stereotypes by the time they’re 9 years old, so part of what I love about City Hall school is that we get to engage the kids about their stereotypes and misperceptions- we hope they leave understanding that everyone has a name, a face, and a story!

Spread the Love

Yesterday I was driving to work and a woman called in to the local radio show to tell listeners about how she stopped on her way to work at Tim Horton’s drive-thru for a breakfast sandwich and coffee and when she arrived to the window to pay the car ahead of her had already paid for her purchase and how this random act of kindness made her day.  Then I read Jeff’s blog post about a small act that his family did for their neighbour, Deedee, which took a little time and energy but probably had a big impact on Deedee. 

Both these stories got me thinking about how fun it would be to  spread the love or pay-it-forward by  just doing acts of kindness to random strangers or neighbours (anonymously or not). 

These don’t all have to cost money but could be:

-  An anonymous note of encouragement to a co-worker or a friend

- offer to babysit for new parents who need a break

- shovel your neighbour's walk

- buy the coffee for the person behind you

- help clean someone’s house (a good friend of mine did this for me a couple weeks ago!)

- donating long underwear or mitts to a local charity

I know that I can get caught up in me, me, me.  So in light of this I’m committing to do 1 random act of kindness for the next 5 weeks leading up to Christmas.  Consider joining me on this journey, as I attempt to spread the love, 1 act at a time.  And if you do join me, share with me what you did!  I promise to keep you posted on my adventures of spreading the love.

Cookies, rakes and community

Deedee is in her seventies and gravity is having its way with her as the weight of a life’s work bends her towards the ground. She is unable to stand tall and finds it near impossible to shoulder check and lift a bag of dog food. Deedee is so tough that she has a hard time receiving help and unfortunately, the support system she trusts is shrinking. The good news is that she has a weakness: she loves cookies.

On Saturday night, my wife, Kristy brought Deedee another instalment of warm ginger snaps. Weakened by the generosity, Deedee started to share that her grandson had moved away and how difficult she finds chores without his help, particularly with her increasingly creaky back. The truth is this is the beginning of a very difficult reality for Deedee, where her chance at independent living shrinks as her chore list grows and routine tasks become ever hard to complete. It is not hard to imagine that in the confines of her lonely home, her chance at sustainable living will diminish. She needs community.

I think that the general human response in a story like this is to feel overwhelmed by the enormity of helping someone completely. We can’t imagine being able to entirely resolve the issues facing our neighbours and so we get stuck doing nothing. The counter to this inaction is to do what we can. So, on Sunday afternoon our family adjusted our plans to include raking Deedee’s leaves. It was a small inconvenience for us and a world of encouragement for Deedee. Baking cookies became raking leaves, which will become shovelling snow, which will grow into something else. As we left her yard, she said, “There’s still good people.”

None of these simple acts will completely combat the isolation that puts Deedee at risk, but it is something. We knew she had a sweet tooth, and now we know she’s got a taste for community. In the words of Mother Theresa, “The needs are great, and none of us ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.”

Cookies, rakes, shovels… who is at risk and what small gift can you give?

Hope grows through holistic care

When I talk to employers in the business community about what The Mustard Seed does, I often find myself telling them about the concept of holistic care. It’s usually an eye-opener for them to hear about the spectrum of services that is available to guests, as we discuss how we’ve moved beyond just providing warm meals.

On several occasions, I’ve explained our model using a hypothetical guest to illustrate how one might stay at the Shelter until they’re ready to move into their own place through our housing program (Aftercare), then find and secure a job with some assistance from the Employment Centre, thus completing their reintegration into mainstream society. This seems to make sense to my audiences; it’s a linear progression that most people can understand and support. They’re usually willing to consider hiring my imaginary character, so I chalk the conversation up as a success and we move on. Then, right before I depart, I ask them to return the rose-coloured glasses I lent them so that I can offer them to the next employer I meet.

If you’ve spent any time around The Mustard Seed, you’ll recognize (and forgive) my sarcasm and appreciate that holistic care doesn’t always happen in this clear and simple fashion. Progress takes patience and commitment from all parties involved, and sometimes we’re so wrapped up in our own piece of the puzzle that we’re not able to see when life-change has happened and this idea of holistic support has really worked. After a few months in this role, I, too, was beginning to wonder when my hypothetical character might come to life; when I’d have a real example of theory becoming practice. And then I met Michael.

We have all witnessed and heard about the truly complex and challenging circumstances that many of our guests have faced, and Michael's story is no exception. What is remarkable about Michael, though, is how he has been able to make progress in his life using the perfect blend of his own initiative and holistic care from The Mustard Seed.

Since Michael’s living situation changed in September, he has been working with both an Aftercare worker and an Employment Coach to devise a sustainable plan for a fresh start. It took versatility and motivation, and I was fortunate enough to see it all come together recently when I had the opportunity to take a road trip with Michael, to a small town northeast of Calgary where he had secured a job interview and tour of a potential rental unit. It was one of the most impactful days I’ve had since starting at The Mustard Seed to be able to be a very small part of a not-so-small change in someone’s life.

After spending the day with Michael, learning about his experiences and seeing the joy and hope in his eyes, I am so encouraged by how when we all work together in community with the goal of providing holistic care, change can happen and hope can grow.

Courage to Change

The fridge died.  The warm contents of the freezer were not the result of a son having left the door ajar as my husband first thought.  No, the appliance had failed and did not warrant repair. The stove was the same vintage as the fridge so we decided on a pre-emptive strike stove wise and replaced them both.  Problem - the new stove doesn’t have an outlet to plug the coffee pot into like our old one, so coffee needs to happen on a different part of the counter.  The next logical place for it has meant I had to move the basket that contains the deluge of paper that I will deal with later.  Now I don’t have a place for the basket, or the deluge of paper that I don’t want to deal with.  The change grates me.  Petty, I know. 

My name is Debbie, and I’ve been working as a reintegration chaplain at The Mustard Seed Edmonton for about a year and a half I work with women before and mostly after their release from federal prison. Most days I can’t believe someone is paying me to go to interesting places and meet amazing people.  The stories of their lives and how they came to be involved in the correctional system as employees or inmates or volunteers are compelling.  Some stories are horrific, some noble, some sad, some funny, some inspirational and rarely are they only one of those things.  They all touch me in some way.

It is the stories that are being written, the stories of moving forward that leave me marvelling at my good fortune to be a witness and, in the mercy of God, perhaps a character as they unfold.  My vocabulary fails me when I try to explain the stories of women who have the courage to change everything and start again.  It shouts of how lousy their life has been if everything known and familiar now must be rejected to create a healthy life. A new locale, a new occupation, new friends, and new ways of dealing with life are all part of the wholesale change.  The stakes are so high, and each element of change is daunting on its own - let alone stacked up with the others like a pile of fragile china.  I can not imagine what it would be like to have your life deconstructed and face rebuilding with tools that are only recently acquired.  Perhaps it is my own irritation with change that makes what they are doing so extraordinary to me, but I’d prefer to think it is witnessing this brave thing called courage that leaves me feeling like I’ve been at Niagara Falls.

Fear and doubt are not absent in the presence of courage, but they do not make the courage any less remarkable.   They make it authentic. 

I’m learning in the work of reintegration that it is important for me to help women
make good connections in the community, to support good decisions, to listen to the fears, to comfort in the sorrow but perhaps one of the most important supports is recognizing courage, naming it, applauding it and admiring the beauty of the one who displays it.

- Debbie

Where Did all the Turkeys Go?

In late September, The Mustard Seed had an excellent turkey drive in Edmonton. The public donated 580 turkeys at Save-on-Foods locations across the city. Thanks to these stores, Shine FM and AM 930 The Light, the turkey drive was our most successful one to date. But, just where exactly did all those turkeys go? Sixty turkeys were cooked up for our Thanksgiving dinner and the financial donations went towards the purchase of all the fixings. The remaining turkeys went to other inner-city agencies. Here are some great stories from them that we’d love to share with you:

"The St. Albert Food Bank was the very fortunate recipient of 40 turkeys from The Mustard Seed’s "T-Shirts for Turkeys" event. As a result of the generosity of your sponsors, Shine FM and AM930 TheLight, we were able to provide a Thanksgiving hamper to 56 families."
- Suzan Krecsy, St. Albert Food Bank

"We cooked the turkeys for a special Thanksgiving dinner to which we invited residents from the People In Need Houses to our church for dinner. Many of these residents do not have an opportunity to go out and be served a meal and have a special evening. We decorated the room with lights and fall colors and served the food at the table. We had about 30 residents join us and many came dressed up for the occasion. Our pastor accompanied by a guitar player provided a varied repertoire (Beatles to gospel) of music. The residents enjoyed the evening out and it was our purpose to treat them like royalty. Everyone went home happy."
- Patricia Elzinga, First Christian Reformed Church

“We used the turkeys for our West Boys & Girls Club Family Thanksgiving Potluck. It was a REALLY FUN night! We ended up serving approximately 70 youth and children and 9 parents/grandparents. We even had two moms come early to help cook and prepare the meal! It can be a challenge to connect with our parents so meals like this are a good chance for us to build these important relationships. We had a couple of our club members offer to perform for the dinner. There were also some crafts available for the members and their parents to participate in so we had kids and some parents doing beading and colouring together. It was a busy night and we had a lot of fun serving our members and getting to know their families!”
- Antonia De Boer, Boys & Girls Club Edmonton

Thanks for making Thanksgiving special for so many adults, children and families this year. Your support truly matters.

By Laura Fedoriw