Ego, Empathy & Ending Poverty

Have you ever seen a little kid running and suddenly do a face plant into the ground? Or watched a clip from America’s Funniest Home Videos where a backyard stunt goes horribly wrong?  What happens when you see this?  If you’re like me, you immediately cringe and partly shut your eyes, your legs might go numb, or you grab the body part that the victim just potentially injured.

In a strange way you feel their pain…it’s like for a moment you’re in their shoes.

Why is that?

Scientists attribute it to “mirror neurons” in the frontal region of the brain; they seem to mediate empathy and allow us to sense the pain of others as if it were our own – just by seeing it.  I guess this helps explain why I cry every time I watch “The Notebook.”  Although it seems we are soft-wired for empathy, it does not automatically mean we are compassionate to others.  This altruistic tendency must be cultivated in order to reach its full potential.

“Do to others what you would have them do to you…”

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Jesus seemed to see the direct connection between experiencing the love of God, self-love, and loving others; he experienced the connectedness between all of us and everything around us.  He also noticed how our ego, what Paul calls our “old self”, tends towards violence and apathy.  Judgement, greed, intolerance, prejudice and hatred all flow out of a me-first mentality.  So does apathy, which in most cases is more violent than hatred.  Jesus sought to cultivate the heart to allow the empathic nature to grow and strengthen…preparing the soil to allow the seeds of compassion to sprout and take root.

It’s funny, children are so good at this.  As soon as one baby cries the other will start crying, as if they can feel each other’s hunger.  A kid on the playground willingly shares her goodies with her friends; in a pure and simple way she understands that her friend’s happiness affects her own. Like Jesus said, we need to be like little children, having open minds and hearts to our shared humanity.

What is my point exactly?  We have come to a place in our history when it is no longer advantageous to see the destruction of our “enemy” or stockpile our wealth and ignore the needs of our neighbor.  We are now so interdependent on the well-being of the “other” that war, discrimination and apathy are out-dated.  Like the Dali Lama said, “We must strive for reconciliation and always remember the interests of others.  We cannot destroy our neighbors or ignore their interests!  This would ultimately lead to our own suffering.”

Homelessness and poverty in general affects all of us; the systemic, economic, social service, government, and societal costs negatively impact everyone.  The question becomes to what point are we awakened to this fact and how do we respond?  The evidence is there…we are all connected and the well-being of your neighbor directly impacts your own.  Our fences, gates and closed doors cannot keep it’s effect out, but only perpetuates the problem.

Do you allow yourself to feel the pain of others?  How you respond to the needs of your neighbor and the community you live in?

How are you cultivating a compassionate heart and love for others?  Do you see the hurting person as your own brother or sister; a part of the whole human family?  Do you see how much your neighbor needs you and you need them?

The Mustard Seed cannot end homeless alone; the roots of poverty spread deeper and wider than its reach.  You have eyes, ears, hands, feet and a heart, so look around you; listen to the cries for compassion and belonging; reach out and embrace; walk a mile in their shoes; feel the heartbeat of a humanity that you are an integral part of.

- Josh

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Pardon the Interruption

It's not often you'll read anything like this on The Mustard Seed blog.

Since starting at The Mustard Seed, I've worked hard to overcome what many might consider a shopping and nice restaurant addiction, so what I'm about to talk about may sound counter-intuitive. I have finally come to enjoy the pursuit of simple living, which I believe is something we can all be doing better. That said, I also believe that there is a season for everything, (in moderation, of course) so once in a while, getting dressed up for a fancy dinner on the town can be a really good thing. Allow me to provide you with an example: The 2012 Seeds of Hope Gala.

On September 28, we are heading downtown to Stephen Avenue, to the fabulous Hyatt Regency Calgary. There, guests will be dazzled by a spectacular meal, custom-designed to tantilize the tastebuds while conjuring up images of growth and hope. Following dinner, they will be treated to even more inspiring experiences, including an update on the successes and plans of The Mustard Seed delivered by our new CEO, Lyall Thomson, followed by a keynote address from Arlene Dickinson. You may know Arlene from her work as a host on the CBC's "Dragon's Den", or her success as the CEO of Venture Communications. And if you haven't heard of her, all the more reason to come see what makes her one of the most in-demand speakers in Canada. All in all, the evening is going to be one to remember (or else, I'm in trouble!)

I invite you to join us, even if it's not something you normally do. Really, it's not often that you get to have such a lovely evening out with wonderful people while simultaneously contributing to meaningful change in the lives of the less-fortunate. And it's probably also not often that you get to see a grown woman run around a ballroom like a chicken with its head cut off making sure you're all having a great time. (Look for me; I'll be the one in the black dress!)

If you're "not a gala person", that's ok, I won't tell anyone. Come anyway. And if you're REALLY "not a gala person", consider telling your boss, your neighbour or your great aunt June (who IS "a gala person") about the event. You're all welcome to give me a call for more information or to purchase tickets - call the main line at 403-269-1319 and ask for me, Lydia Nutbrown. You'll be glad you did.

And now back to your regularly scheduled blogging.


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The Chronicles of Westwood Manor: Interview Two

When I interviewed a tenant at Westwood Manor, The Mustard Seed Edmonton’s first apartment building under the HousingFirst philosophy, he almost brought a tear to my eye! Now this guy is what you would call a “particular individual”: you know, those people who like things done in a certain way, with a certain style. He is one of those guys who keeps the common room clean and makes sure things things stay afloat around the house. 
Now for those of you who don’t know, The Mustard Seed's housing program is unique in that it tries to fill the gaps and reach the “hard-to-house” individuals who don’t make it in regular HousingFirst programs. In light of this, the tenant stated,

“I take pride in being part of an experiment: guinea pigs! It is a first-time experience for The Mustard Seed and a new learning experience for everyone. All eyes are on this experiment because we are doing this differently compared to other agencies. It is exciting in a way, to be a part of this new thing, to be able to give input on how we can improve. You really become a part of the process and experience. We give input and things change for our benefit.”

To be honest, I was taken aback at the sheer confidence in his words as he said this. He really felt empowered as a decision-maker in the Housing Program. This was his program, his experiment. Part of this experiment was conflict resolution. Westwood Manor has committed to a restorative justice framework for conflict resolution. He had this to say about resolving problems in the house,

“I realize that some people have different standards of what they might consider acceptable behaviour. We are gonna have different opinions, and that’s normal. I’m glad there is a resolution process to resolve differences quickly. Other than minor disagreements there has not been any incidents here. I like to keep the common room clean. Sometimes the other tenants have to do better to clean up after themselves, like spaghetti over the stove: maybe they think it is normal. Differences like that. If that’s the extent of differences that’s pretty good [he chuckles].”

The Housing Program and Westwood Manor at the Edmonton Mustard Seed have been growing like crazy. We are in the process of purchasing 2 more apartments and it is expected that up to 3 tenants will be moved into Westwood Manor each month until the 20 unit apartment is filled. I asked the tenant how he felt about all the changes:

“Things are going to change – change is inevitable. Some people are afraid of change, are uncomfortable, but you can’t live like that. There haven’t been any negative changes yet. And our input is welcome which is great. Input makes difference.
Here there is a mechanism where you bring concerns and they can be discussed. Maybe they won’t agree but at least you have an opportunity to have your voice heard. I am very encouraged to have a voice here.”

Boy oh boy, somebody give me a tissue!

Love Lots,

Jeremiah

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Pain behind the Beauty

It was 38 degrees outside.  The sun beat down at every turn, perspiration soaked his t-shirt; Washington D.C. was bright and alive.  A visitor to the city, the American Rome appeared to hold some of the world’s most remarkable wonders and sights, a city full history and beauty.

It was 5 o’clock and his stomach was growling with hunger.  His mind spinning through the countless facts, figures and ideas downloaded from the conference; a gathering of 1,500 people to address an issue of on-going concern…homelessness.  As he and his colleagues stood outside of a seafood restaurant discussing the day’s findings, a woman approached.

She stood about 5’-2”, beads of sweat formed along her dark, wrinkled skin, her hands folded in a fearful respect, her eyes looked heavy yet held a certain hope in the goodness of humanity; there was remarkable beauty about her.  She cupped her hands and held them out.  After mustering every ounce of bravery in her she said, “Excuse me sirs…could you help me out with any change?”

Bam.

Like a freight train, reality struck him with an unexpected blow.  Immediately he left his mind and became fully present in the moment.  His eyes focused on her and he felt her pain.  Who is she?  Where is she from?  What led her to this point?  What has she been through?  What has she seen?

After a brief moment of hesitation, wondering if giving money was the right thing to do, the three men reached into their pockets and pulled out some change and placed it in her weathered palms.  As if in disbelief in what just happened, she covered her mouth and tears began forming in her eyes.  “People walk past me like I’m invisible…like I don’t exist.”

Thud.

Those words dropped heavy on his heart.   How could such a beautiful woman feel this way?  What has happened so that people walking past see her don't even acknowledge that she's there?  Is her existence important enough for people to take notice?

“What’s your name?” he asked.  “Shelia.”  The way she said her name showed she had no doubt in who she was, but she was filled with shame.   He took a step forward and asked, “Shelia, can I get a hug from you?”

Sigh.

He felt her entire weight sink into his arms.  She exhaled like she had been holding her breathe for years.  Salty tears streamed onto his shoulder as she said, “All I wanted was a hug.  All I’ve needed was a hug.”  He held her tighter.

“Shelia, you are loved.  You are beautiful.  God is on your side.  You are not invisible.”  He whispered these words into her ear in hope that they would sink deep into her soul and awaken her to the image of the Creator inside.

Sheila picked herself back up. She looked at them with grateful eyes and said “Thank you.”  She turned around and continued walking down the street.  The three men looked at each other, searching for words to describe what just happened, but couldn’t.   The words of Bob Dylan played through his mind, “Behind every beautiful thing, there’s some kind of pain.”

Can you see beauty in the pain you experience?

- Josh

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Hope Through the Struggle

I've been struggling to find the foundation of my faith these last couple months. Maybe you can relate to this feeling of having lost your footing to your beliefs or values; not feeling like you're standing on the ground you once knew was solid under you.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to admit that I may have lost sight of the kingdom of God quite yet. Regardless of the truth of that statement I know that I have not given up on the gospel narrative. The reality of the incarnation floods my daily living from the light of a new day revealing redemption from yesterday's burdensome mistakes, to the peace and rest I find in the quietness of myself. I know these truths because I have taken them into myself, ingested them, meditated on them.

Though I will continue to wrestle through my thoughts, emotions, and experiences surrounding this struggle of faith, I know without any doubt that there is hope. When my faith waivers I have hope. When I allow my poor judgment and lack of self-control to get the best of me there is hope for a tomorrow characterized by love, selflessness, and kindness.

I haven't lived long enough to really know anything, but from the few experiences I do have I think it is safe to say that the struggles are unending throughout our journeying in this life. They may take different shape, or become less (or more) emotionally intense over time, but the struggle will always be present.

Whatever the struggle might look like for you, or the struggles that you see around you -- and there are many -- be a bearer of hope, a bringer of light. Hope on behalf of those who can no longer hold onto it. It is sometimes the only thing that spurs resiliency or ignites the possibility of change...

Hope is sometimes all we have.


Kat
Follow me on Twitter @katherineboldt



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