Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover This Halloween

We’ve all heard the saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”, and on a holiday like Halloween this adage seems to take on new meaning. Many Canadians will don a costume this Halloween to look funny, scary, or crazy. The guises we wear at Halloween remind me of the stereotypes that are often made about people experiencing homelessness because of the way they look. Visitors to The Mustard Seed often tell me that they are scared of the people on the streets because of the way they look. They take one look at someone and assume they know all about them: "They’re lazy”, “They’re an addict”, “They’re homeless”, “They’d hurt me if I stopped to talk to them”, and “They’re scary”.

Brené Brown, a social worker from the United States says, “In [our] culture of shame, we are constantly overwhelmed with feelings of fear, blame, and disconnection. This creates an ‘us and them’ world. There are people like us, and then there are ‘those other people’. And we normally work very hard to insulate ourselves from ‘those people’. As children, there were the people that we were allowed to hang out with and then there were the other kids…As adults, we live in the neighborhood where our kind live – the other neighborhoods are for the other folks. We emotionally and physically insulate ourselves from ‘the other’… We’ve developed language to describe others – sometimes we refer to them as ‘those people’, or the even more mysterious ‘people like that’… Sharing our shame with someone is painful… the natural tendency to avoid or reduce this pain is often why we start to judge and insulate ourselves using otherness. We basically blame them for their experience. We unconsciously divide people into two camps: worthy of our support and unworthy.”  I Thought it Was Just Me (But it Isn't) - Brené Brown

Homelessness is scary, and it’s painful, especially when we get to know someone who is experiencing homelessness and they share their story with us. When we hear someone’s story, we start to care about them and it hurts to see people we care about in bad situations. So instead of getting to know people, we give them a stereotype or a label that sums them up in one word so we don’t have to feel the pain of hearing their actual story.  

Last week a group of elementary students from a local school came to visit the Mustard Seed and they made sandwiches for our community. They bravely opened their minds and hearts to hear about “the other”. We gave them a tour and shared with them the stories of some of the folks we know that have been affected by poverty and homelessness. Sometimes I get discouraged and I wonder if these tours even do anything to help, but I was given some hope when I received a letter from the teacher of one student, who went back to his school and wrote about his experience in his journal. The student wrote:

“Today we went to The Mustard Seed... I learned that homeless people are not crazy drug addicts or bums, but people that have worth. I think that it is fitting that The Mustard Seed ended up in a church. The Mustard Seed is one of the best places I have seen in my life, and I am happy that we were able to go and make a difference in someone’s life, or at least a sandwich. I cannot believe that I used to think that these people were useless. I will try to donate to non-profit organizations, and make sure my donations are in good shape and can give hope to the people who receive them.” – Grade 6 Student

This Halloween, may we remember that beneath the clothes we wear, the ‘costumes’ we put on each day in our schools, our work places, and our cities, that each of us has a story, and that our stories matter, because we matter.

Let us remember that each of us has a name and we are so much more than stereotypes and labels from the way we look.

And may we have the courage to share our story with our whole heart and to hear the story of “the others” in our own communities.

Say "Hello" and Follow me on twitter @paulacornell5 or @mustardseedyeg

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The Size of a Mustard Seed

I recently had the opportunity to write about The Mustard Seed for a national faith-based magazine. I thought you might be interested in a few of my thoughts on life in the inner city. Enjoy!

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The inner city. There are probably words, ideas, and stories that come to mind when you think of the inner city community that exists in your city. Words like “addiction,” “poverty,” and “homelessness” may have surrounded or influenced the images of the inner city that, for whatever reason, have planted themselves in your mind and understanding. However, these characteristics are not the whole truth, nor are they the definers, of inner city communities. This was a lesson I learned firsthand only through experience, only as I made the inner city my community, only as I built real relationships in this community. The catalyst that started my journey into the inner city is a place I now look at with deep love and respect, a place known across the city of Edmonton as The Mustard Seed.

The Mustard Seed is a Christian not-for-profit organization that delivers basic services, housing and employment to those in need, and partners with the community to address poverty. As an organization, we affect change in the lives of people living in poverty through building community and building mutually respecting and mutually edifying relationships within the community. We are inspired by our faith to help those in need – physically, emotionally and spiritually – and we support people of faith from all denominations as part of our commitment to follow the example of Christ in bringing dignity to the marginalized. Our work is about meeting the basic needs and developing the gifts and talents of our community. The venue through which much of this is practically communicated is through our meal program and drop-in activities.

Foundational to The Mustard Seed’s drop-in recreational programming is the idea that broken relationships are central to the issue of poverty. It seems that perhaps what first needs to be addressed in the lives of those living in poverty is the need for healthy relationships. The staff, volunteers, and community members that compose The Mustard Seed community fully understand this reality. For us, tangibly embodying this means opening our space for drop-in activities like karaoke on Tuesdays, art night on Thursdays, and Hockey Night in Canada on Saturdays. In addition to these evening programs we also have a volunteer-run sewing program, we serve as a food depot that operates out of the Edmonton Food Bank, we regularly give free haircuts, and we redistribute gently used clothing and household items through our Personal Assistance Centre.

While these programs comprise only a portion of our Basic Services programs, these are the programs that create opportunity for authentic relationship, which can then serve as an entryway to next-level programs and services like advocacy, housing, and employment. Without first laying the foundation of relationship – that is, without knowing the stories of the people we serve – it is near impossible to make further connections to other services that are available through The Mustard Seed and other surrounding social agencies. If authentic relationship – that is to say, relationship without particular agenda – is not given primary focus in our outflow of services, we’ve not accomplished our goal.

It is because of genuine relationships within this community that I feel a belonging and connectedness to the inner city. The inner city neighbourhood that I have chosen to adopt as my own community tends to be associated with need, crime, and other characteristics that often incite fear and negative attitudes and opinions, perhaps similar to the images that came to your mind when first reading the words inner city. I’ll admit, prior to my experience in this community I had fallen victim to similar ideas.

The truth about the inner city – about any neighbourhood – is that relationships are what define a community, a truth that resounds within me because of my personal experiences within the inner city. It has been nearly two years since I started my employment at The Mustard Seed and I consider my time here to be an honour and a privilege. Without acceptance into this community I never would have met Thomas*, a man in his mid-40s diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD). Thomas has been separated from his family for the majority of his life, leading to his on-again-off-again homelessness, and he is unable to retain a full time job due to numerous health issues, all of which has led to occasional intravenous drug use. My friendship with Thomas has had its ups and downs, but every time I see him he is nearly in tears expressing his gratitude to be a part of a community that cares about the details of his everyday experiences, a community where people actually know his name. Thomas’ reality is that The Mustard Seed community is often the only place he feels like he is accepted, a place where he belongs.

As my relationships with people like Thomas deepen, my commitment to this community only solidifies further. Thomas’ smile and words of appreciation may appear small, but it is through Thomas that I am reminded that it is in the little things that life, love, hope and joy are found. These little things might often be as small as a mustard seed.