Love Never Fails

"Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." – James M. Barrie

On Sunday night, I attended a youth and young adult church and worship service at a friend’s church. When it was time for the message, a young blonde girl approached the stage and faced the crowd. “This is my first time speaking at church and I’m pretty nervous, as you can probably tell!” she joked, awkwardly grasping the microphone. For the next 20 minutes, the nervous but well-spoken young lady shared her mind and heart, and the topic of addiction arose. She spoke of the broken; of women and men who turn to drugs and alcohol to replace something integral in their lives that is missing.

This got me thinking about The Mustard Seed, and homelessness, and the stereotypes and uninformed judgements that surround those living on the streets. According to Charity Intelligence’s 2009 report “Homeless in Canada”, 80% of Calgary’s chronically homeless are addicts.  The substances that are abused vary widely:  anything from rice wine and mouthwash, cocaine and heroin, marijuana and alcohol. Sometimes the addiction starts before the individual is homeless, and sometimes the addiction begins during time on the street.

With such a strong correlation between homelessness and addiction, it is inevitable that we often encounter individuals in society with apathetic mindsets towards those living on the streets. Those that think, “Why should I help him? He’s an addict. He will just spend the money feeding his addiction”.

Probably my favorite definition of addiction is by Dr. Stanley Gitlow, and it reads: 
“Addiction is a disease in which any technique for adapting to life is used, other than interpersonal relating.”

When we are brave enough to really dig deep into the heart of addiction and look at it honestly and free of barriers, we often find that the substances being abused are not the causes of the addictions, but rather, they are introduced into our lives as coping mechanisms. Coping mechanisms for what, exactly?

Emotional pain, hurt, and discomfort, often. Escape routes that attempt to detour around the realities of the world we live in, avoiding the uncomfortable situations and emotions that are an imminent part of the human condition. Aversions to experiencing and dealing with our own personal demons and ghosts, broken hearts and marred pasts.  Often, what start out as small escape tactics can become a breeding ground for repetitive action leading into a full-fledge addiction.

What does this look like in real-time? The socially-awkward teen at the party who turns to alcohol to loosen up and quell his anxiety. The middle-aged woman at the pharmacy purchasing sleeping-aid pills to “knock her out” so she does not have to deal with the emotions of a painful divorce. The young man who craves social acceptance to such an infinite level that he begins experimenting with cocaine because everybody within his social circle does it and it makes him feel like one of the group.

There are many compassionate and kind people in this world who treat the homeless and the addicted with dignity and love. But what would happen if all of society in its entirety got on board and chose to think on a more empathetic level; to see those who are troubled by addiction as human beings who have made poor choices in dealing with emotional pain or discomfort, instead of simply labeling them as “addicts”? What would happen if everybody kept in mind that addiction is an equal-opportunity condition? What would happen if each and every person whom those that were addicted encountered on a daily basis responded to them with love, grace, support and acceptance?

Would this help to heal the underlying pain and discomfort deeply ingrained within the individual that the addiction was, in its essence, a response to?

“Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” - Gary Zukav

- Jennifer Fast, New Media Specialist, The Mustard Seed
@loveismotion222

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Razors

The following blog post was written by Alexa Walcott, a dedicated volunteer at The Mustard Seed. You can view Alexa's blog at: http://goinganddoing.wordpress.com/

 Having the ability to head to the store and get whatever I need is just one of the MANY things I take for granted. A few weeks ago I was volunteering at The Mustard Seed, a local organization that builds community, grows hope and supports change by providing food, shelter and opportunity for many of the homeless in our city.

My job that night was to work in the “hygiene room” handing out towels, clean socks, shampoo, soap and other toiletries. I watched as a bus load of guests walked towards my room after a long day. Many of them had been working and were just looking forward to a hearty meal and a hot shower. I handed out dozens of towels, what seemed like an endless supply of shampoo and all sort of socks. But I kept getting a request for one item, that was out of stock.

A razor.

I cannot tell you in words how heartbreaking it was to see the dozens of disappointed looks I received when I had to say “I’m sorry, we don’t have any more razors.” The Mustard Seed relies on items like this to be donated, and for 3 weeks were out of razors. Two thoughts crossed my mind. The first was “man, it’s so unfair that these people are being denied such a basic thing” and the second was “how on earth, in a city of over a MILLION people, has nobody donated razors?”

Then it hit me. I was part of that million, and had I done anything about it? No. I hadn’t.

So maybe I’m just one person, and maybe I can’t get The Mustard Seed the full supply of razors that they need, but I can certainly help. And I can ask my friends to help. And my friends can ask their friends to help. And…well I think you see where this is going.

So, here’s my plea. This week, I am going to drop off razors for The Mustard Seed and I’m going to ask everyone that lives in Calgary who reads this post to do the same. Then tell your family and friends about this need and together we will be able to provide something so practical to some people who I know will really appreciate it. Specifically, a man who we will call Martin – and I’ll tell you about him later.

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Lucy, Portrait of Courage

It is a sad thing that we consider it an insult to call someone a "little girl". 

I had the privelege of speaking to the Provincial Correctional Chaplains this week.  I chose to use one of my favorite characters from literature to illustrate the posture of people who find the counter-cultural courage to go beyond themselves to help others.  These are some excerpts of my message.

In the first chapter of "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe" we encountner Lucy, the youngest of four siblings exploring a house they are living in.  The four children have come from war-torn London, to a country home full of empty rooms.

'"Nothing there" said Peter, and they all trooped out again -  all except Lucy.  She stayed behind because she thought it would be worthwhile trying the door of the wardrobe, even though she felt almost sure it would be locked.

Stop...read it again!

"She stayed behind."  I love it!  When others are running from room to room she stays behind.  There are echoes of Mary and Martha here. Stay behind and there will almost certainly be silence and solitude.  If you look at the paragraph before it mentions there was nothing in the room but a wardrobe and a dead fly on the windowsill.  Silence and solitude prepare us for adventure and reframe the problem we face.

"She thought it would be worth trying the door of the Wardrobe." Curiosity and a sense of adventure can compell us to move ahead in our risk-averse society.  It can help us step forward when others are paralyzed.

"Even though she felt almost sure it would be locked."  Some of us assume doors are locked...even when they aren't.  How will we know unless we try.  Here the words of Jesus, "Knock and the door shall be opened unto you".

What follows is an adventure. A clash between good and evil.  An encounter with a living God.  The next paragraph has powerful action-filled words..."She immediatly stepped into the wardrobe", "She went further in..." and most interesting of all the author says, "It was ALMOST quite dark in there". Did you see that...he didn't say it was dark, it was almost dark.  Where courage is, the light never completely goes out.

Another courageous person, Amy Carmichael, Missionary to India said :

If I am afraid to speak the truth lest I lose affection, or lest the one concerned should say, "You do not understand", or because I fear to lose my reputation for kindness; if I put my own good name before the other's highest good, then I know nothing of Calvary love. ~Amy Carmichael

The people we are surrounded by find courage in dark places.  Take heart!  The work we do calls us to courage.

- Dave Grauwiler is the Executive Director of The Mustard Seed, Northern Alberta

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Ego, Empathy & Ending Poverty

Have you ever seen a little kid running and suddenly do a face plant into the ground? Or watched a clip from America’s Funniest Home Videos where a backyard stunt goes horribly wrong?  What happens when you see this?  If you’re like me, you immediately cringe and partly shut your eyes, your legs might go numb, or you grab the body part that the victim just potentially injured.

In a strange way you feel their pain…it’s like for a moment you’re in their shoes.

Why is that?

Scientists attribute it to “mirror neurons” in the frontal region of the brain; they seem to mediate empathy and allow us to sense the pain of others as if it were our own – just by seeing it.  I guess this helps explain why I cry every time I watch “The Notebook.”  Although it seems we are soft-wired for empathy, it does not automatically mean we are compassionate to others.  This altruistic tendency must be cultivated in order to reach its full potential.

“Do to others what you would have them do to you…”

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Jesus seemed to see the direct connection between experiencing the love of God, self-love, and loving others; he experienced the connectedness between all of us and everything around us.  He also noticed how our ego, what Paul calls our “old self”, tends towards violence and apathy.  Judgement, greed, intolerance, prejudice and hatred all flow out of a me-first mentality.  So does apathy, which in most cases is more violent than hatred.  Jesus sought to cultivate the heart to allow the empathic nature to grow and strengthen…preparing the soil to allow the seeds of compassion to sprout and take root.

It’s funny, children are so good at this.  As soon as one baby cries the other will start crying, as if they can feel each other’s hunger.  A kid on the playground willingly shares her goodies with her friends; in a pure and simple way she understands that her friend’s happiness affects her own. Like Jesus said, we need to be like little children, having open minds and hearts to our shared humanity.

What is my point exactly?  We have come to a place in our history when it is no longer advantageous to see the destruction of our “enemy” or stockpile our wealth and ignore the needs of our neighbor.  We are now so interdependent on the well-being of the “other” that war, discrimination and apathy are out-dated.  Like the Dali Lama said, “We must strive for reconciliation and always remember the interests of others.  We cannot destroy our neighbors or ignore their interests!  This would ultimately lead to our own suffering.”

Homelessness and poverty in general affects all of us; the systemic, economic, social service, government, and societal costs negatively impact everyone.  The question becomes to what point are we awakened to this fact and how do we respond?  The evidence is there…we are all connected and the well-being of your neighbor directly impacts your own.  Our fences, gates and closed doors cannot keep it’s effect out, but only perpetuates the problem.

Do you allow yourself to feel the pain of others?  How you respond to the needs of your neighbor and the community you live in?

How are you cultivating a compassionate heart and love for others?  Do you see the hurting person as your own brother or sister; a part of the whole human family?  Do you see how much your neighbor needs you and you need them?

The Mustard Seed cannot end homeless alone; the roots of poverty spread deeper and wider than its reach.  You have eyes, ears, hands, feet and a heart, so look around you; listen to the cries for compassion and belonging; reach out and embrace; walk a mile in their shoes; feel the heartbeat of a humanity that you are an integral part of.

- Josh

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Pardon the Interruption

It's not often you'll read anything like this on The Mustard Seed blog.

Since starting at The Mustard Seed, I've worked hard to overcome what many might consider a shopping and nice restaurant addiction, so what I'm about to talk about may sound counter-intuitive. I have finally come to enjoy the pursuit of simple living, which I believe is something we can all be doing better. That said, I also believe that there is a season for everything, (in moderation, of course) so once in a while, getting dressed up for a fancy dinner on the town can be a really good thing. Allow me to provide you with an example: The 2012 Seeds of Hope Gala.

On September 28, we are heading downtown to Stephen Avenue, to the fabulous Hyatt Regency Calgary. There, guests will be dazzled by a spectacular meal, custom-designed to tantilize the tastebuds while conjuring up images of growth and hope. Following dinner, they will be treated to even more inspiring experiences, including an update on the successes and plans of The Mustard Seed delivered by our new CEO, Lyall Thomson, followed by a keynote address from Arlene Dickinson. You may know Arlene from her work as a host on the CBC's "Dragon's Den", or her success as the CEO of Venture Communications. And if you haven't heard of her, all the more reason to come see what makes her one of the most in-demand speakers in Canada. All in all, the evening is going to be one to remember (or else, I'm in trouble!)

I invite you to join us, even if it's not something you normally do. Really, it's not often that you get to have such a lovely evening out with wonderful people while simultaneously contributing to meaningful change in the lives of the less-fortunate. And it's probably also not often that you get to see a grown woman run around a ballroom like a chicken with its head cut off making sure you're all having a great time. (Look for me; I'll be the one in the black dress!)

If you're "not a gala person", that's ok, I won't tell anyone. Come anyway. And if you're REALLY "not a gala person", consider telling your boss, your neighbour or your great aunt June (who IS "a gala person") about the event. You're all welcome to give me a call for more information or to purchase tickets - call the main line at 403-269-1319 and ask for me, Lydia Nutbrown. You'll be glad you did.

And now back to your regularly scheduled blogging.


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The Chronicles of Westwood Manor: Interview Two

When I interviewed a tenant at Westwood Manor, The Mustard Seed Edmonton’s first apartment building under the HousingFirst philosophy, he almost brought a tear to my eye! Now this guy is what you would call a “particular individual”: you know, those people who like things done in a certain way, with a certain style. He is one of those guys who keeps the common room clean and makes sure things things stay afloat around the house. 
Now for those of you who don’t know, The Mustard Seed's housing program is unique in that it tries to fill the gaps and reach the “hard-to-house” individuals who don’t make it in regular HousingFirst programs. In light of this, the tenant stated,

“I take pride in being part of an experiment: guinea pigs! It is a first-time experience for The Mustard Seed and a new learning experience for everyone. All eyes are on this experiment because we are doing this differently compared to other agencies. It is exciting in a way, to be a part of this new thing, to be able to give input on how we can improve. You really become a part of the process and experience. We give input and things change for our benefit.”

To be honest, I was taken aback at the sheer confidence in his words as he said this. He really felt empowered as a decision-maker in the Housing Program. This was his program, his experiment. Part of this experiment was conflict resolution. Westwood Manor has committed to a restorative justice framework for conflict resolution. He had this to say about resolving problems in the house,

“I realize that some people have different standards of what they might consider acceptable behaviour. We are gonna have different opinions, and that’s normal. I’m glad there is a resolution process to resolve differences quickly. Other than minor disagreements there has not been any incidents here. I like to keep the common room clean. Sometimes the other tenants have to do better to clean up after themselves, like spaghetti over the stove: maybe they think it is normal. Differences like that. If that’s the extent of differences that’s pretty good [he chuckles].”

The Housing Program and Westwood Manor at the Edmonton Mustard Seed have been growing like crazy. We are in the process of purchasing 2 more apartments and it is expected that up to 3 tenants will be moved into Westwood Manor each month until the 20 unit apartment is filled. I asked the tenant how he felt about all the changes:

“Things are going to change – change is inevitable. Some people are afraid of change, are uncomfortable, but you can’t live like that. There haven’t been any negative changes yet. And our input is welcome which is great. Input makes difference.
Here there is a mechanism where you bring concerns and they can be discussed. Maybe they won’t agree but at least you have an opportunity to have your voice heard. I am very encouraged to have a voice here.”

Boy oh boy, somebody give me a tissue!

Love Lots,

Jeremiah

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Pain behind the Beauty

It was 38 degrees outside.  The sun beat down at every turn, perspiration soaked his t-shirt; Washington D.C. was bright and alive.  A visitor to the city, the American Rome appeared to hold some of the world’s most remarkable wonders and sights, a city full history and beauty.

It was 5 o’clock and his stomach was growling with hunger.  His mind spinning through the countless facts, figures and ideas downloaded from the conference; a gathering of 1,500 people to address an issue of on-going concern…homelessness.  As he and his colleagues stood outside of a seafood restaurant discussing the day’s findings, a woman approached.

She stood about 5’-2”, beads of sweat formed along her dark, wrinkled skin, her hands folded in a fearful respect, her eyes looked heavy yet held a certain hope in the goodness of humanity; there was remarkable beauty about her.  She cupped her hands and held them out.  After mustering every ounce of bravery in her she said, “Excuse me sirs…could you help me out with any change?”

Bam.

Like a freight train, reality struck him with an unexpected blow.  Immediately he left his mind and became fully present in the moment.  His eyes focused on her and he felt her pain.  Who is she?  Where is she from?  What led her to this point?  What has she been through?  What has she seen?

After a brief moment of hesitation, wondering if giving money was the right thing to do, the three men reached into their pockets and pulled out some change and placed it in her weathered palms.  As if in disbelief in what just happened, she covered her mouth and tears began forming in her eyes.  “People walk past me like I’m invisible…like I don’t exist.”

Thud.

Those words dropped heavy on his heart.   How could such a beautiful woman feel this way?  What has happened so that people walking past see her don't even acknowledge that she's there?  Is her existence important enough for people to take notice?

“What’s your name?” he asked.  “Shelia.”  The way she said her name showed she had no doubt in who she was, but she was filled with shame.   He took a step forward and asked, “Shelia, can I get a hug from you?”

Sigh.

He felt her entire weight sink into his arms.  She exhaled like she had been holding her breathe for years.  Salty tears streamed onto his shoulder as she said, “All I wanted was a hug.  All I’ve needed was a hug.”  He held her tighter.

“Shelia, you are loved.  You are beautiful.  God is on your side.  You are not invisible.”  He whispered these words into her ear in hope that they would sink deep into her soul and awaken her to the image of the Creator inside.

Sheila picked herself back up. She looked at them with grateful eyes and said “Thank you.”  She turned around and continued walking down the street.  The three men looked at each other, searching for words to describe what just happened, but couldn’t.   The words of Bob Dylan played through his mind, “Behind every beautiful thing, there’s some kind of pain.”

Can you see beauty in the pain you experience?

- Josh

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