Love Never Fails

"Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." – James M. Barrie

On Sunday night, I attended a youth and young adult church and worship service at a friend’s church. When it was time for the message, a young blonde girl approached the stage and faced the crowd. “This is my first time speaking at church and I’m pretty nervous, as you can probably tell!” she joked, awkwardly grasping the microphone. For the next 20 minutes, the nervous but well-spoken young lady shared her mind and heart, and the topic of addiction arose. She spoke of the broken; of women and men who turn to drugs and alcohol to replace something integral in their lives that is missing.

This got me thinking about The Mustard Seed, and homelessness, and the stereotypes and uninformed judgements that surround those living on the streets. According to Charity Intelligence’s 2009 report “Homeless in Canada”, 80% of Calgary’s chronically homeless are addicts.  The substances that are abused vary widely:  anything from rice wine and mouthwash, cocaine and heroin, marijuana and alcohol. Sometimes the addiction starts before the individual is homeless, and sometimes the addiction begins during time on the street.

With such a strong correlation between homelessness and addiction, it is inevitable that we often encounter individuals in society with apathetic mindsets towards those living on the streets. Those that think, “Why should I help him? He’s an addict. He will just spend the money feeding his addiction”.

Probably my favorite definition of addiction is by Dr. Stanley Gitlow, and it reads: 
“Addiction is a disease in which any technique for adapting to life is used, other than interpersonal relating.”

When we are brave enough to really dig deep into the heart of addiction and look at it honestly and free of barriers, we often find that the substances being abused are not the causes of the addictions, but rather, they are introduced into our lives as coping mechanisms. Coping mechanisms for what, exactly?

Emotional pain, hurt, and discomfort, often. Escape routes that attempt to detour around the realities of the world we live in, avoiding the uncomfortable situations and emotions that are an imminent part of the human condition. Aversions to experiencing and dealing with our own personal demons and ghosts, broken hearts and marred pasts.  Often, what start out as small escape tactics can become a breeding ground for repetitive action leading into a full-fledge addiction.

What does this look like in real-time? The socially-awkward teen at the party who turns to alcohol to loosen up and quell his anxiety. The middle-aged woman at the pharmacy purchasing sleeping-aid pills to “knock her out” so she does not have to deal with the emotions of a painful divorce. The young man who craves social acceptance to such an infinite level that he begins experimenting with cocaine because everybody within his social circle does it and it makes him feel like one of the group.

There are many compassionate and kind people in this world who treat the homeless and the addicted with dignity and love. But what would happen if all of society in its entirety got on board and chose to think on a more empathetic level; to see those who are troubled by addiction as human beings who have made poor choices in dealing with emotional pain or discomfort, instead of simply labeling them as “addicts”? What would happen if everybody kept in mind that addiction is an equal-opportunity condition? What would happen if each and every person whom those that were addicted encountered on a daily basis responded to them with love, grace, support and acceptance?

Would this help to heal the underlying pain and discomfort deeply ingrained within the individual that the addiction was, in its essence, a response to?

“Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” - Gary Zukav

- Jennifer Fast, New Media Specialist, The Mustard Seed
@loveismotion222

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