Working in
the Employment Department at The Mustard Seed necessitates walking a fine line
between systems that we implement in order to help people find work, and
entering into their stories. As a
society, we are very focused on systems.
It is the way that we garner information and the source upon which we
base our successes and failures. In our
line of work, it is often very tempting for us to fall into the same mode of
seeing things around us and only looking at how many people landed jobs or how many
companies in our city have offered to work with us in a given week. Granted, these things are important. We need to have tangible data in order for us
to see what is working and what isn’t, what needs to be jettisoned in our
program and what should stay. The great
danger comes when only numbers matter.
In my opinion, I think that having a “system only” focus keeps us
safe. Because society has laid out the
“system” for us already, we, as members of that community need only to “buy in”. It shelters us. It protects us from leaning into
discomfort. The system tells us that
everyone should have a job and that if they don’t, they are “lazy bums”. It says that addiction only happens to people
who are weak and if they would only try harder, they would have success in
beating their demons. It labels success
by monetary means and failure as anything less than the ideal. Unfortunately, when we begin to buy into this
way of reasoning or adopt a way of seeing life that keeps us sheltered and
protected, we do ourselves a great disservice. As our belief in success vs.
failure, rich vs. poor and addict vs. clean begins to widen the gap between us
and those around us, I feel that we lose touch with our own story.
As humans, we are born for community. We see it everyday in our shelter in South East Calgary. People who have lived for a long time “on the
mats” can sometimes have a problem leaving the confines of those walls, not
because the beds are particularly comfortable, but because of the people that
they have grown to know and love that share that space. The “problem” with true community is that in
order for it to work right, it necessitates vulnerability. Most often that vulnerability presents itself
in story. As I have worked in the Employment Program over the past year, coaching many people to move past barriers and find
sustainable, long term employment, I have realized one thing over and over
again: we are ALL the same. There is no one “better” or “worse”. I have heard story upon story upon story,
some filled with great tragedy, others filled with incredible joy and
victory. And as I have had to listen to
those tales about divorce, addiction, insecurity, and pain, I have been forced
to look into my own heart to deal with my divorce, my addictions, my
insecurities and my pain.
To see one of my guests beam because
he has been two weeks clean and hasn’t exploded at his boss yet. To hear about the pain of Christmas from
another who won’t see his children this year.
To sit with someone as the arthritis in their knees has forced them, yet
again, to leave a job that they loved.
To laugh and cry, many times in the same conversation with a man who was
forced to carry a gun through jungles at the young age of 12. These are the moments that carry weight. And in these moments, I have realized that
for whatever time, I have gained some incredible friends that have helped me
see my own flaws and failures, my incredible strengths and telling
successes.
This week, I will be leaving The Mustard
Seed and even now I feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I think about those
I will be leaving behind. It is not the
numbers and targets, the paperwork and the administrative tasks that I will
take with me from here. For the rest of
my life, I will carry those stories in my heart. I will see their faces etched in my
memory. And I will remember that while
the system only ever gives us data, it is the stories of those around us that
help us to face ourselves.
I ask that next time you see that
panhandler sitting on the corner, the drunk man stumbling into McDonalds to use
the washroom, or the high powered businessman rushing past you to make a
meeting, realize that there is a story behind every one of us. It’s a story that weaves us together and perhaps
in that realization, it will begin to help us help each other.
- Jay Brazeau, Employment Coach, The Mustard Seed
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