My night of homelessness

Last week, I left my house with nothing but the clothes on my back and went downtown to our YWCA shelter to spend the night for "Keep A Roof Over Her Head". I can't deny how odd it felt to drive myself downtown to be homeless.

Let me just say right off the top that spending one night in a shelter with others who are there to learn more about homelessness can never, ever truly tell what someone who faces that every day goes through. The CEO of the YWCA (who also slept over) stated, "In the morning, I want you to remember that the average woman who used our shelter over the winter stayed 154 nights in a row. Think about 153 more nights when you wake up tomorrow." This is a thought I couldn't shake all night as I slept on a hard mat with the lights on.

In the morning, I felt exhausted. I couldn't get to sleep because of others in the room chatting and because of the lights. There was no comfortable position for my body on the hard mat. However, I was grateful for a mat, and not to have to sleep on the floor. Dinner the night before was upsetting my stomach. I have a wheat intolerance and the pasta and bun didn't sit well. Reality check: when you're homeless, you eat what you get - even if you have allergies.

However, let me get to what really struck me. Shone Abet Thistle from the YWCA told a story of her imagining she was fleeing domestic violence. She had three minutes to gather everything she deemed important and put it in a plastic bag. What would she bring? She managed to stuff items into her bag quickly, but then just before heading out the door, she saw a picture of her grandmother on the wall that was still in it's original casing. It had been passed down from her grandma to her mother, and now to her. Should she bring it? She broke down knowing she had to leave it behind.

We don't realize how much is lost when a woman has to flee her home. Imagine for a moment losing all you have in the comforts of your own home, only to find yourself sleeping on a mat, eating buns and pasta, and having to leave the building at 6am with no where to go other than wander the streets in the daytime - no matter what the weather. For many, they did not choose to lose everything. How easy it is to become an addict to numb the pain. To choose to sell your body for sex so you can at least sleep in a bed under a roof, even if it means giving yourself to a man who only cares for the use of your body. How lonely must it feel to sleep night after night wondering what will happen to you, your home, your kids, and your life as you knew it?

I can imagine most of these women want to cry out, "This is not who I am!", but her cries are not heard by those passing her on the street. All they see is a good-for-nothing woman who needs to "go get a job". The hard truth is that in my province of Alberta, we carry the 2nd highest rate of violence against women. 905 women and 195 children were turned away due to over-capacity from the YWCA in my city of Calgary last year. Where do they go from there?

There are glitches in our system that keep women impoverished once they get there. For example: women who lose their children due to living in a shelter, often can't afford to get them back because they no longer will receive government funding we all receive for her children, thus decreasing her income.  How can she survive on $323 a month?? Even if she has a job that pays $10/hr?

Even beyond issues of fleeing domestic violence, all it could take is one illness to find someone living on the street.  How many of us have money saved for emergencies such as this for 6 months of income? 3 months? Even 1 month? With the cost of living, many of us are living paycheque to paycheque. This became very real to me while I laid on my mat that night.

Homelessness is something that we have become used to in our society. It's not odd to see a business person crossing the street along side one carrying a big bag of bottles. We don't even flinch anymore. When we do look, we can easily think of all the reasons how they got themselves into that situation to dismiss their pain from our eyes.

I'm done with stereotyping them.
I'm done with coming up with why they are there.
I'm finding out the truth, and more than ever, I see how we are all the same.
I want to feel their pain, and let it move me to intolerance.
To me, they are not invisible any longer.

Women's homelessness is one of the topics we are presenting in our show, Invisible playing at Theatre Grand Junction June 14-15, 2013 in Calgary, AB.  Tickets are on sale.  Hungry to know more and what can be done.  Tickets are on sale for only $25 by clicking here.

- Connie Jakab

Check out Connie Jakab's blog at http://culturerebel.com where she blogs about her family's adventures in serving the less fortunate and her continued rebellion to what culture tells us. Be sure to pick up her book, "Culture Rebel - because the world has enough desperate housewives" at http://culturerebel.com/books/. You can find Connie on Twitter at @ConnieJakab

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A Poem Dedicated to The Mustard Seed

The Mustard Seed

Before Care

While waiting here in this lunch line,
I look back when all things were fine.
When work was plenty, when bills were paid.
So Blessed was I –I had it made.

Now waiting here I’ve lost it all,
because one day I had a fall.
Those paid to care, they dealt in fraud.
Yet for this lunch, I thank my God.

After Care

I thank you Father for “The Seed”.
Your people cared to fill my need.
They did so happily in Jesus name.
They proved to me just why He came.

They proved to me my God You give.
They helped me find a place to live.
We know they didn’t have to bother,
yet did this service for you Father.


-Brian, a guest at The Mustard Seed

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How will they know?

One of my favourite stories took place about one hundred years ago while I was in Bible School. I had been working at a Ski Shop in Grouse Mountain when I discovered that taking the tram on a clear day, is perhaps the most amazing view of Vancouver and the lower mainland one is ever going to see.

One day a friend from work and I decided we were going to hike along the ridge between Grouse Mountain and an adjoining peak called Goat Mountain. If you've ever been to Vancouver, one of the tourist highlights found on postcards all over town is a view of twin peaks called the Lions. Well, the ridge we were hiking that day runs between Grouse and the Lions. It’s a spectacular area to hike in and pretty high up.

As you hike up to the top of Goat Mountain, you come out above the tree line and stand on the edge of a pretty significant drop where you can see Vancouver and the lower mainland, and on this particularly clear day, all the way to Washington State. It was amazing, but I have never forgotten the conversation that took place on that ridge.

I said, gazing out over one of the most beautiful cities in the world, "look what Man has created." My friend Lisa replies, "yeah, but look what God created." Lisa was looking the other direction, over what looks like hundreds of miles of mountain peaks, all snow covered, and going back literally as far as you could see.

In the years I had worked with and known Lisa, she had never mentioned God. Other staff had often sought me out to discuss their personal views regarding faith and Jesus, mistakenly viewing me as a theological sounding board because I was a Bible School student. But not Lisa, until that very moment where she was unknowingly expressing one of the greatest truths found in scripture.

Creation Testifies About It's Creator

"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." (Romans 1:20)

Psalm 19 says, "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands"(Psalm 19:1). It is impossible to live and breathe in this world without recognizing God. Just observing nature in itself is proof of that. Lisa's declaration of that truth, that one of the greatest witnesses to the reality that God is, is creation itself.

Another great proof that God is real is US.

Loving and Caring People speak to the existence of God

“Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be you reconciled to God” (2 Corinthians 5:20).

In Acts 10, there's the story of the Roman army officer named Cornelius who was described as “a devout, God-fearing man,” who “gave generously to the poor and prayed regularly to God. His prayers and gifts to the poor were as an offering to God.”

The Apostle Paul in the book of Romans mentions a group of Christians who had “eagerly taken up an offering for the poor among the believers in Jerusalem” (Romans 15.25-26).

The early church held helping the poor as a core value. In fact, it was one of the greatest testimonies to the world all around them; visible evidence of a people of faith whose belief in God resulted in actions towards the neighbours that God has called them to love.

Jesus himself went so far as to say that how we treat those in need is how we treat Jesus himself. Jesus said, “I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.” Jesus went on to say, “I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these, my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!”

So how will they know that God is real??

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35).

 - Bill Nixon,  Director of Public Education, The Mustard Seed
@billbytheminute 

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Four Years and Running: An Interview with Ray

When it comes to reliability, look no further than Ray! Ray has been volunteering every Thursday at The Mustard Seed for over four years, spending the morning in the Computer Lab and the afternoon in the Employment Centre. Before retiring in 2008, Ray was VP and Senior Engineer at RBC Capital Markets, where he spent 28 years of his career.  We caught up with Ray and asked him a few questions about his volunteering experience:

What prompted you to become a long-term volunteer with The Mustard Seed?

I was already familiar with the organization, as I would occasionally walk by on my lunch breaks or volunteer with meal groups from RBC or the Knights of Columbus. I decided to help on a more consistent basis when I retired.

What have you learned since being a volunteer at The Mustard Seed?

Volunteering has expanded my horizons, made me more tolerant, and taught me that appearances are not the whole person. If you have no experience with the homeless, it’s hard to relate until you know someone affected by it. When I would walk by, I used to think, “Shouldn’t they all be working?”, but now I understand how complex people’s circumstances are and how difficult their lives have been.

Tell us about what you do in each of your volunteering roles.

In the computer lab, I primarily monitor people’s time allowances and sign them in and out, and help them with technical questions, job search and resume tips.  In the Employment department, I am able to offer more intensive resume and job search support since it is a one-to-one appointment format. I support guests as they work with their Employment Coach to develop a career path.

What do you love most about volunteering?

The Mustard Seed feels like a family environment, and I have met so many inspirational guests and staff while being here.  But what I love most is when guests come back and thank me for helping them, and I’m glad that it happens frequently.

What has been your most memorable experience while volunteering at The Mustard Seed?

There have been so many, both tragic and uplifting. One of my best experiences was with a guest who lost his house and was laid off, despite being highly qualified. When he first came he was difficult to help because of his attitude, but after several months it changed for the better. I’ll never forget the look on his face the day when he finally got a job and he came back to shake all of our hands and thank us.


The Mustard Seed is celebrating National Volunteer Week from April 21-27. Join us in thanking the thousands of volunteers who donate their skills and time to The Mustard Seed every year!

If you’re interested in becoming a volunteer, please visit www.theseed.ca and click “Volunteer”.

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Invisible

Walking downtown, I notice the strange mix of business suits with those wearing worn out clothing, carrying bags of bottles. Although they walk side by side, they are different. They don’t acknowledge one another. As they walk, the only similarity is their eyes looking towards the ground. I stop to chat with a dog owner when we are interrupted by a homeless woman. Before she can speak, my dog-owner friend cuts in to say, “I have no change”, and walks off. I’m left with this woman waiting for me to reject her as well. I reach into my purse and give her a toonie. I ask for her name and tell her mine. She introduces me to her friend and her friend’s new fiance. They are beaming with pride over the bright blue ring that looks like it came out of a toy box. We exchange in casual conversation about the amazing soup you can get at Red’s on 4th and then say our goodbye’s.

Harmless, really. However I understand how many are afraid to even speak to the homeless. It’s not that we look down on them, it’s more so the fear of what’s unknown. Personally I have wondered about my safety at times or have had thoughts of being followed for more money. We don’t fully understand their situation, making it hard for us to engage even in something as simple as conversation.

I’ve been doing a fair bit of research on homelessness in the last year and a half, and more recently, on women who are homeless. My findings have allowed me to engage in friendly conversation with ones such as these. I have found a few interesting truths in the process; I’d like to share them with you:
-No teeth does not equal axe murderer. It equals someone who has nothing and is probably ashamed of their smile. (If I struggle with a slight coffee stain, how must they feel?!)
-Saying “hello” does not mean unending harassment.
-Giving money may indeed go to booze, but it may remind them that someone cares. Wouldn't you drink if you were on the street in the dead of winter?
-If you have no money to share, I've found finding out their name and introducing yourself brings more than money can buy; it brings humanity back to their existence.

There are many contributing factors to what causes homelessness. Because of how vast the subject is, I would like to highlight a couple of factors when it comes to women you may see on the street who are homeless.
Did you know?:
-Many women on the street have come from situations of domestic violence. If they don’t have children, there is very limited shelter space for them.
-Women on the street will often hook up with a man for survival and a place to live – even if that man is abusive or feeds her substance abuse habits.
-Women only make up 20% of homeless shelters, mostly because of the dangers that exist for them while staying at a shelter.

Some women you see on the street were once just like you and I. Maybe they were trying to support themselves through University and chose an escorting job that led them to a party lifestyle of crystal meth that depleted their beauty and thus their employability. Prostitution was the next best option for them. Some women are homeless due to mental illness and no family that is around or willing to help them. Single moms have a hard time finding affordable housing in Calgary. Imagine working a $10/hr job and having two kids that cost more than that for childcare and your rent is $1500 a month. How does one survive?

Knowing some of these facts has brought their humanity back to my heart. Knowing their name has become important to me. Thinking about where they have come from means something to me. I don’t see them as separate from myself; I see them as valued members of our community, our city.

Seeing value in them makes them visible to me. I don’t need to solve their problems, but having them and the issues surrounding their situation makes them no longer invisible to me. This becomes the start to building a city I want to live in.

- Connie Jakab


Check out Connie Jakab's blog at http://culturerebel.com where she blogs about her family's adventures in serving the less fortunate and her continued rebellion to what culture tells us.  Be sure to pick up her book, "Culture Rebel - because the world has enough desperate housewives" at http://culturerebel.com/books/.   You can find Connie on Twitter at @ConnieJakab 



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